The next thing you know, Tony and BJ and Duane are all talking inside. Duane is explaining that everyone is happy for Billie Jeanne, and no one is thinking about the fact that he, Duane, is "the ultimate loser here." Because, of course, when your friends get engaged, the important thing to remember is that it's all about you. You! "I lose my friend, I lose my roommate," blah blah blah. Billie Jeanne explains that Duane then pulled her into the bathroom and proceeded to have a nervous breakdown of sorts about how he "couldn't take this anymore" (huh?) and was so upset about her getting married and everything. We hear Duane sobbing on the other side of the bathroom door. "Everyone else is having fun except for meeee," he snorfles. Billie Jeanne says that Duane's "emotions" and "how he really feels about [her]" are being "exposed" as a result of this very intense situation. Duane then correctly sobs through the door that everyone is probably laughing at him. Well, I know I am, anyway. "I'm tired of the whole scenario," he says. Have I mentioned that it appears that at the time this was taped, the "whole scenario" had been going on for less than two weeks, and had involved Duane for about three days? Duane needs more scenario-related coping skills, I have to say. He then, for some reason, refers to himself as "the token queer" (objection: irrelevant) and talks about his emotions and something something and this is about as much of Tony's bathroom door as I really need to see in dramatic Floor-Perspective-Cam. We hear a nose blown loudly. BJ's friend Paige walks up and knocks, but Duane says, "Go away!" Paige says, "It's Paige." Duane says, "That's nice! Go away!" What an ass, seriously. Way to make your friend's entire engagement about you and your personal suffering. You can tell he's one of those guys who finds himself adorably quirky, but I personally think he just sucks.
Tony interviews that BJ and Duane have a "magical rapport" and "live in their own world." Heh. Sing it, Tony. The drama continues to unfold, apparently, as Billie Jeanne chases Duane around the apartment conducting a loud dramatic confrontation in front of the friends and family, like it's an episode of The Real World (fork-fork-FOOORK!). Man, as much as I feel sorry for BJ about the crappy way Tony is using her, she certainly isn't making herself look like the girl any guy would want his friend to marry, ever. In fact, she's arguably red-flag girl. BJ explains that she had to pull Duane out of his incredibly self-centered state and explain to him how this wasn't exactly about him right now, but it was about her taking "a journey and a step." He sobs as they hug. It occurs to me that I could not take him for five minutes without wrapping his scarf around his neck and choking him. I'll show you some crying, ya big baby.