Later, Kevin and Robert have a debriefing in one of their rooms. Kevin is clearly very sad. "She looked so beautiful," he says. "Everything comes and...happens for a reason, my friend," Robert says. He and Kevin really do think alike, in terms of the random combinations of words that sort of vaguely eventually get the point across. As they split a bottle of wine, Kevin interviews that he and Jill had a lot in common, and had a lot of chemistry, but he never really felt that she was totally committed. And it turned out he was right. He leaves the door open to the possibility that it "might work in the future," but just didn't work right now.
Jill interviews that when she went up to the altar, she wasn't sure what she was going to do, but in the end, she decided she couldn't marry Kevin. Unsurprisingly, she blames Kevin's family, as she always does, for their lack of support. She also admits, though, that the fact that he doesn't have adequate "direction" concerns her. What I don't understand about this whole "direction" thing is that it's not like he's been a slacker since high school -- from what we've been able to figure out, Kevin had a pretty serious baseball career until three or four years ago, so it's not like the guy doesn't know what it means to be driven. He's just between careers, it seems to me. Anyway, I seriously hope Jill winds up married to a stockbroker who gets busted for SEC violations, gets fired, and goes broke, because she sucks and would deserve it. I detest her. She dresses the whole thing up as "he needs to find himself first," but her issue is clearly that she thinks she's too good for him. It's a perfect example of a woman who's gotten a little too much of the princess treatment and has begun to believe it. Go away, Jill, and shut up.
Oh, look. Time for "BILLIE JEANNE & TONY'S WEDDING." I think I've moved from needing tequila to needing Novocain. Various peeps enter and are led down the aisle. Bender and Paige look kind of nice together, actually. Tony walks in and takes his place. Billie Jeanne's carriage rolls up, and what is she doing? Oh, she's yelling, "Woooo!" She is bubbling over with happiness, cackle-laughing and grinning. Two little flower girls make their way down the aisle.
Enter Billie Jeanne, on the arm of Crying Duane. Her peeps look on joyfully. I think Tony's guys are still making side wagers on what he's going to do. At the altar, Crying Duane pulls back her veil and gives her a little kiss, and then it is upon her. She mouths to Tony that she loves him. Feh. The pastor talks for a while, yappety-flap. He talks about God, Who again is undoubtedly unhappy to be dragged into this. Time for the vows.