Alias
Maternal Instinct

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Happy Mother's Day, bitch.

Previously on Alias: Um. That was two minutes ago. You're losing your memory, dude.

We catch up with Fatty McFatterton in an ambulance en route to the hospital. He's not going to make it there, however, due to the fact that a big truck smashes right into his ambulance. The soldiers guarding Fatty try to handle matters, but someone on the outside just shoots the shit out of them. Fatty creeps out of the ambulance with his arms raised. "Don't shoot!" he says, as someone ignores his pleas and shoots him right in the damn kneecap. Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark. Fatty writhes around on the ground as a pair of black boots seductively make their way over to him. The camera looks up and there she is. Lena Fucking Olin. In all her glory. Man, did I ever miss her.

Irina stands over Fatty and tells him that he compromised "their" agenda; whoever "their" is. Fatty apologizes profusely, and then Irina cocks her gun and says, "Tell me exactly what you said to my husband." Hee. Tee hee. "Did you tell him about The Horizon?" she asks. Fatty swears he didn't and that she has to believe him. "I do believe you," she says. And then she shoots him. Twice. In broad daylight. GodDAMN, I love her. I mean, not that you should love someone who murders people in cold blood or anything but...sigh. She's awesome.

Meanwhile, Syd's at the hospital, waiting on her new doctor. Let's hope that HE doesn't work for Prophet Five too, y'all. He finally enters, and Syd asks if her baby is okay. He tells her that the baby's fine, and that she and her child are in excellent health. Dixon shows up, then, and they leave together. Dix tells her that the CIA released Jack because Fatty confessed and cut a deal. Dix then says that Jack wants to see them both before they contact the Apple Store.

And now for a brief word on Dixon's hair. I think it's fab. It's longer and kind of mini-Rasta-y, but it's great. It's totally not very CIA-ish, mind you, but it makes Dixon look cool, so I'm all for it. A lot of people on the boards were like, stinky! Stinky poo! But I like it. So shut up.

Apple Store. Getty's glowering into his computer screen. Rachel approaches and asks him to go for a walk. They move off together, but Getty sees Sloane talking to Devlin in the distance and Sloane nods him over. He gives Rachel a rain check on the walk and meets up with Sloane. Devlin and the CIA are auditing APO's investigation of Prophet Five, and Sloane wants Getty to assist him with whatever he needs. For starters, Devlin wants all their SIT reports as well as their operation files. Getty says the SIT reports are no problem, but they're running diagnostics on the computers right now, so he can't get Devlin the operation files. Devlin looks mildly perturbed by this. I, for one, have no idea what's going on. Devlin then asks who can get him admin privileges to their access logs and Getty points out Rachel in the distance. Once Devlin leaves, Getty asks Sloane what the hell is going on. Sloane says that Devlin wants to see APO's phone logs to see if anyone tipped off Prophet Five to Fatty's transport route. Getty walks off and Sloane gets this look on his face like he's just eaten an elephant fart. I don't think we have to look too far to find out who gave Prophet Five Fatty's route, do you?

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