Maternal Instinct

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 3 USERS: A-
Happy Mother's Day, bitch.

Malibu Pregnant Barbie Penthouse. Syd opens the door, and Jack can barely hide his smirk. "Is she still here?" he asks. Syd kind of gives him this look like, "Uh, DUH," and then walks back inside the house without a word and kind of a roll of her head that's really funny and Jack makes this face like, "I see my daughter's going to be a PILL about this," and the whole little scene is hilarious. Like, I missed it the first go around because it's so quick and subtle, but thanks to Mr. TiVo, I've now watched it five times and every time it cracks me the hell up.

Jack slowly makes his way over to his wife and she turns and sirens, "Jack..." and he smirks at her and says, "You look...well," he finally manages, and it's totally obvious that he was thinking, "Hot. Smoking. Wicked. Good god, woman. You look UNREAL. Oh, wait. I can't say that in front of my daughter. Do me? Can I say that in front of my daughter? No. No, I can't. Okaaaay. What do I say? WHAT DO I SAY? For lord's sake, I can remove a bullet from a brain with a spork, but I can't come up with something appropriate to say to my--humminah humminah HOT STUFF wife! I need some water." Irina meltingly smiles at him and says that she got his messages and she wanted to reply, but she sensed that it might be a CIA trap. "Look at us," she says. "About to become grandparents." "I'm doing my best to ignore that," quips Jack. Heeeee. Irina says to Jack that she fears for Sydney's safety and Sydney asks if Dixon found out anything. Jack says that he hasn't yet, but he's with the source now.

Paris. Bertrand enters a parking garage and makes his way over to his car. Élodie is perched atop it in some rather fun stockings. While Bertrand's pondering them, Dix enters and says hello. He says that seven years ago, Bertrand coordinated a mission for the Alliance. Bertrand acts like he doesn't know what they're talking about and says that they can't intimidate him. They can, however, strap him to the hood of his car and drive him around at high speed until he tells them that Leo 47 Norte was a package that Bertrand was told to store and that he put it in a bank vault in Vancouver.

Dix calls Jack in L.A., and Jack immediately turns right around and tells his duplicitous spy of a wife that The Horizon, whatever it is, is stored in a vault at Queens Bank in Vancouver. Syd says they'd better act fast, seeing as Prophet Five has probably already figured out that she gave them false intel. "Yeah, that's a safe assumption," sneers Irina. Heh. She's totally peeved right now. Jack says they can't use APO because of Devlin, and Irina neatly steps up and says that if they're being watched, she'd be happy to go in their place. Oh, I'm sure you would, Irina. Jack declares that they'll go together and that Irina's Vancouver contacts can make the travel arrangements. Syd says to make them for three, because she's going too. Irina tries to protest, but Syd just says that The Horizon is why Prophet Five killed Vaughn, so there's no way in HELL she's not going to be on the mission to recover it. She wants to finish this thing for good. Jack orders Irina to make the arrangements. Irina mentally counts how many lies she can tell before her nose starts to reach the opposite wall.

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