MDs
Time Of Death

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Time Of Death

From the establishing shot of the Golden Gate, we cut to a shot of the city skyline and then abruptly zoom up on the skyline. I guess we're getting closer to the action. Hyper bongo playing lets us know that something thrilling is about to unfold. Before we can waste a second wondering what that could be, a helicopter whirs past, racing importantly toward...something in that skyline.

Cut to a hospital interior, where a gaggle of surgeons stumbles out of the OR in their scrubs. Pulling off her cap, one gripes that her feet are numb. Another bitches that his brain is numb. I'd feel worse for them if they didn't earn thirty times what I do. A battle-weary voice exposits, "Ah...your first all-nighter in surgery." William Fichtner -- hello! -- slides out from behind the group and slings his arms around a couple of them, just as a frantic tiny man in scrubs barrels into the corridor to let Fichtner, a.k.a. Dr. Kellerman, know that there's a Medi-Vac three minutes away. "Code 2K," Kellerman mutters. The doctorlings want to know what that stands for. Kellerman tells them it means they'd better scrub up again.

Cut to a gurney-cam. So this is what it's like to go careening through a hospital as if your life depended on it. It's about as close to the actual experience as I need to get. As we fly past a snippy blonde Amazon with a clipboard and lab coat (you may recognize her as the poodle trainer from Best in Show), she asks where the fire is. Is she going to ask for a hall pass next? The doctor hurriedly answers that it's a 2K. Clipboard is bewildered and more than a little suspicious.

Cut to the roof, where the gurney-racing doctor is rushing toward the helicopter we saw earlier. It's just like M*A*S*H! Except not. The pilot hands the doc a red cooler plastered with medical decals and actually says, "Here ya go, baby!"

Cut back to the interior, where the cooler is escorted on a gurney to an operating room. Kellerman asks for forceps and whips up the lid of the cooler. He tells the doctorlings to give him their hands. One asks incredulously if they shouldn't put on gloves first. Some doctor who's seen it all before assures them that napkins will suffice. Kellerman reaches into the cooler with the forceps and slowly draws out a...kidney? Nope. Liver? Guess again. It's a Krispy Kreme! Get it? Two Ks? I take a much-needed break from the excitement to roll my eyes while Kellerman hands the donuts -- still warm thanks to the Medi-Vac! -- to all the doctorlings.

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