WoodwardPK. Ella cautiously enters Amanda's office, formerly Caleb's. Ella immediately starts kissing ass, but Amanda doesn't want to hear all that jive. She didn't call Ella in for her life story of aspiring to be just like Amanda. "Although your absentee father and pill-popping mother would make for a very juicy tale." Ella's mouth drops open. Nice of Amanda to fill us in on that. Locklear's boobs are entirely the stars of this scene, by the way. Amanda brushes off Ella's questioning of how she knew about her past in favor of discussing the matter at hand. This whole Anton V/Riley denim thing is crap, she says. Wow... maybe Amanda can save this show. Nobody will believe a rags to riches story when packaged with a girl like Riley, Amanda adds. That's what we've been trying to tell you! Instead, Amanda hands Ella a piece of paper with a fake life story for Riley. Ella has a problem with it, but Amanda threatens to replace Ella and -- wouldn't you know it -- suddenly Ella doesn't have a problem with it. She accepts the assignment, straightens up and walks out down the stairs with an open-mouthed look of pure fright.

COMMERCIALS

At the Renewed Love Nest, Jonah answers the door for Ella, who waltzes in and assumes that Jonah not responding to five voicemails means he must be completing his screenplay. "When do I get to read it?" she prods. Little tidbit here: Andrew Mischer got a Senior VP gig at Paramount, which means Jonah's Living in Reverse has been rerouted to Development Hell. Riley walks in and greets Ella with a, "What the hell are you doing?" Ella plays dumb, but Riley has her laptop open to the fake bio she's expected to sign off on. She won't go to the launch if she has to lie about who she is. Ella levels with her and Jonah. She admits her job is at stake if this doesn't go well. Again. Then things get a little more personal. Ella tells Riley that she doesn't get to come home to a hug from Jonah every day and hear about how proud her parents are. "My life is my BlackBerry." BlackBerry Mobile hands Ella a sack of cash. This little speech convinces Riley to resign her defiance. Fantastic. Ella leaves. Perfect fiancée Jonah takes it upon himself to try to figure out a way around this, but Riley concedes that Jonah has done more than his fair share financially for them. It's her turn to shoulder some of the responsibility in this relationship. Pssh... I'd say. "If getting paid means lying about who I am, then I guess it won't kill me this one time." Oh, come on. I can't take another Riley failure. At least not one this telegraphed. Dear readers, I absorb all of these failures on your behalf and it's starting to affect my daily life.