Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: A- | Grade It Now!
Woodward and Burn Scheme
comes out of the pool to ask Riley to speak alone. Jonah does what any sane boyfriend would do and says no. According to Riley, anything Auggie has to say can be said in front of Jonah. Auggie is aware that the police received an anonymous tip. Riley goes ahead and comes clean about being that anonymous tip, but she does so defiantly. Auggie is disappointed that Riley did not trust him. Jonah and Riley start to walk off, but Auggie just wants Riley to look him in the eye and tell him she thinks he murdered Sydney. She can't look him in the eye so she and Jonah try to leave again. Auggie aggressively steps forward, so Jonah with bravado steps forward and holds Auggie at arm's length, telling him to back off. Riley insists that she and Jonah leave. Auggie's left to look over to the pool bar and grab himself a bottle. A fine choice, sir.


Auggie sits in his apartment with the stink of failure giving him a headache. He glances over at the tasty bottle sitting on the adjacent table. Violet enters the apartment and immediately knows what's going on. Don't throw away all your progress, is the general plea, but Auggie can't hear it because of the fact he couldn't even convince his own friends he's innocent of murder. He grabs a shot glass and the bottle and heads off into a dark corner of his apartment for no particular reason. Is that his drinking corner? Violet pulls her emergency lever, which automatically causes her to rip off her clothes. Like mother, like daughter. They tear into each other. Auggie lifts Violet up onto the kitchen counter and the clothes come off like so many unnecessary layers of meh. Props to AS-W for practically bearing it all. Very salivating props.

On Rodeo Dr., Ella goes to meet her destiny outside at a nice little restaurant. Amanda is waiting for her. Ella takes her seat and Amanda tells her not to get comfortable. She'll be meeting someone else in ten minutes. That does not bode well. Amanda asks Ella what her angle is since she failed her babysitting Riley task and can't seem to disengage her emotions. Amanda doesn't think Ella's priorities are straight since she doesn't seem to realize her supposed friend didn't seem to care she could be costing Ella her job with her actions. If Ella wants to be like Amanda and keep her job, she needs to put her career ahead of everything, including friendships. Amanda suggests she bring up the fact Riley used sick days to pursue her modeling career to her boss and try to get her fired. Ella isn't interested in such cutthroatery. Ella gets up from the table and leaves.

Love Nest. Jonah and Riley are rationalizing and justifying their failure and discussing recycling all of the magazines that evidence said failure. Riley's phone rings and it's her principal. We can already infer that she is being fired. Jonah, of course, cannot infer that and has to ask. Riley looks like somebody just packed all of her students into a bus and drove it off a cliff. To calm down his bride-to-be, Jonah offers to take on a bookkeeping job of 12 hour days, effectively giving up his dream. Ella's outside eavesdropping through their open window. Convenient. Ella can't believe Amanda went ahead and pulled the trigger on Riley anyway, she mutters to herself as she walks off. David finds her as she wanders through the courtyard. It only makes sense that Ella would've seen what he did to her apartment while he was trying to get in Lauren's pants so she teases him about what she probably found when she came home. David laughs off the ribbing, but changes his tone to seriousness to advise Ella she might need to get ready for some pro bono spin work for Auggie's reputation. He shares his theory that Michael killed Sydney. David vows to get revenge on his father.

Amanda walks around Sydney's empty apartment in a white dress. The apartment is bathed in white light as well. Gotta give credit to Locklear. She looks fantastic. After a bit of ethereal walking about, Amanda heads over to Sydney's empty walk-in closet. She goes straight to a completely non-descript area of wood panels, which she presses on to reveal a secret compartment where there's a wall safe. She puts in a numeric code from memory and opens it to find an envelope with a card in it from Sydney addressed to her. "Amanda, You'll never find it! -Sydney" Find what? Your dignity for coming back?

See you in December, guys.

-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.

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Melrose Place




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