Picking up where we left off last episode, Jonah, fueled by his jealous rage over finding out Riley kissed Auggie, is still out for drinks at a bar with the film development exec, Kendra. Things progress naturally and Kendra eventually leans in to kiss Jonah, who doesn't stop her right away. His conscience catches up way too late to prevent irreparable damage to his engagement, but just in time for him to blow his chances with this girl who is perfect for him. Good job, Jonah. He comes home to an oblivious and still-annoying Riley who tries to badger him about where he was all night. Jonah makes up some excuses and tries to avoid the issue until Riley invites herself to help Jonah out with filming a wedding. They agree to try to have fun with each other, but it devolves into a confrontation where Jonah reveals he knows Riley kissed Auggie and admits he let Kendra kiss him. Riley, informed by whatever misconnecting synapses in her brain that make her Riley, decides to go end her friendship with Auggie. This doesn't please Jonah, especially since he still plans to professionally keep seeing Kendra. The perfect little couple is left to ponder their own crapulence.
Auggie is not having a good day. Not one bit. Marcello is still busting his balls at Coal. Nothing Auggie does seems to please Chef. Auggie is even inventing food and it doesn't impress his boss. It becomes evident Marcello either just doesn't like Auggie or has some sort of problem with giving him his due credit when Marcello steals the very recipe Auggie tries to use to impress him and passes it off as his own to impress his own boss. Auggie, the patient and tolerant guy that he is, lets this slide, but when Marcello continues to be an asshole and makes some out-of-line sexual remarks about Riley -- who just stopped by to friend break-up with Auggie -- Auggie snaps and goes ballistic on Marcello. He has to be pulled off of him by about five cooks. Later, Auggie broods in his apartment about probably losing his job when Violet opportunistically shows up to "cheer him up." They totally get it on. Finally. Is that what we were waiting for? Maybe now Violet can ride off into the sunset.
David is the latest of the tenants to get a visit from good ol' Detective Rodriguez. David gets brought up to speed about the latest break in the case that came up when Rodriguez investigated Ella, which has to do with the private investigator Elle had hired to break into Sydney's apartment the night of her death. This means that once again we need David and Ella to get their stories straight. This time the motivation is because Rodriguez alludes to suspecting David is up to some illegal ways of living beyond his means and vows to bring this to light if David doesn't come clean. David begins to suspect himself of Sydney's murder because he can get angry when drunk, as seen in a flashback of an argument between him and Sydney. More flashbacks reveal to both us and David that he woke up after Sydney's murder, covered in blood with a knife in his hand. In the flashback, he runs to a construction yard and buries the knife, but when he tries to unearth the knife, he can't find it. Turns out the police have it now. Sucks to be David.
Meanwhile, WPK is in crisis over one of its clients overdosing. It's a guy named Jessie who is some sort of tween idol cross between Zac Efron and a Jonas brother. They're in complete damage control over this thing. Just so happens Jessie was admitted to ULA where Elle figures she can pull strings with Lauren. Turns out she can't. Lauren refuses to doctor (ha!) medical records to make it seem like Jessie just had an allergic reaction, even when Ella finds lots of Lauren's fancy new lingerie and an envelope filled with cash that leads her to suspect Lauren's hooker lifestyle. WPK is willing to pay Lauren $50,000 in hush money, but Lauren insists she won't sell out her medical ethics, which are apparently completely independent of her bodily ethics. Ella is forced to do a complete 180 and propose that WPK just let the story get out so it will humble their client, convince him to get clean and give them control over how the story gets spun. I guess? Ella and Lauren come to an understanding that they will not talk about the giant, slutty elephant in the room. Can you say BFF!?
Remember how Jonah skipped out on Riley at the end of last episode to go have drinks with Kendra the movie executive? He's still there! And he's having the time of his life. They're definitely enjoying each other's company, even as they argue over their taste in directors. Jonah obviously has his hard-on for Tarantino, but Kendra finally sets his ass straight. According to Kendra, it's all about Kubrick, baby. Riley who? They agree to disagree, and Kendra decides to take their friendship to the next level. I like how quickly this girl works. She wants to know about Jonah, like, know about him. She reaches out and rests her hand on his. "The Jonah Miller story starts out slow, but then there are a few good twists," he says. Oh, God, I hope so.
We cut to Ella lying on her apartment floor doing crunches and I cut to needing oxygen as the camera pans over her taut, contracting... ihagwixgev3nas. Lauren comes home from what we can assume was some whoring. She's surprised to find Ella home, to which Ella replies she had a client cancel a meeting. Naturally, Ella senses an opportunity to be nosey about her friend. All of the signs seem to point to Lauren sleeping with a married guy. I'm sure there have been some married men in there somewhere, Ella. There's some effort from Ella to try to get Lauren to confide, but nothing doing.
Back at the bar of infidelity, Jonah is finishing up telling some unfunny anecdote involving a guy running from a dog while carrying a chicken. This guy -- full of win. Coming down from the laughter high, Jonah is so happy he's found someone who "gets [his] vision" and he tells Kendra so. He stops himself so he can tell himself that he can't believe he said that without irony. I can't believe this guy is talking to himself and still attracting this woman. He forgot to address himself as "self" first. That's probably how he's doing this. Kendra has seen enough. She's ready to flop the river Yahtzee. Very deliberately, she shifts on her barstool to lean in and kiss Jonah. Jonah doesn't back away; at least, not at first he doesn't. The little angel on Jonah's shoulder which is probably the guy who's kept Jonah and Riley together this whole time (we hate him, yes?) makes Jonah reveal to Kendra that he is engaged. She, of course, flips and calls for the check. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Jonah.
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At Coal, Auggie's doing his cook thing. Violet comes in to gush from at least two orifices about Auggie's awesomeness. OK, I apologize; that was terrible, but it's totally what's happening. She's going on about how what Auggie is cooking smells great. Auggie offers to let her try it, but instructs her to close her eyes first. Not sure why, but Violet is hesitant to do so. Finally, she agrees and Auggie proceeds to spoon feed her his concoction. She chews, eyes closed for way too long. She points out she noticed a hint of saffron. I'm just mad about saffron. Auggie seems impressed Violet has developed a bit of a palate. Just then, Marcello comes in to talk shit like is his wont. He takes the opportunity to zing Violet this time as well, wondering aloud if Violet's next aspiration is to be a cook. Auggie starts to tell Marcello about his latest food invention, but Marcello isn't sold on the idea. Auggie convinces him to try it after they argue over the culinary theory behind his concept. Marcello has to try really hard this time not to be impressed. Auggie hopes that if he makes some changes, this dish can be considered to be on the new menu Marcello is making at the request of Mason, the owner of Coal. Marcello thinks not. Violet tries to defend Auggie's work, saying she would order it if it was on the menu. "Not in this restaurant," is Marcello's reply. It's like he's their asshole father telling them that while they're under his roof, they'll eat pork chops -- only a lot less macho. The guy's wearing a smock, for crying out loud.