Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: C- | 896 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hunter Gets Captured By the Lame
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Have to address that this "Previously on Melrose Place" is getting out of hand. "Hi! I'M ELLA! Simms. Junior publicist!" and "JONAH! You are a hugely talented filmmaker!" Enough.

We begin this evening with the lovely Ms. Woodward on her phone, talking about the mystery object of interest she discovered was missing from Sydney's wall safe. She sits at her desk at WPK browsing through profiles of all of The Complex tenants on her computer until she stops on a profile of Michael Mancini. Suddenly, she knows exactly where she needs to be looking.

David and Lauren return from a date and stop by The Complex Pool to discuss the front row seats they just shared at a Kings Of Leon show. David would like to know if they will be having sex on fire after they share a long, passionate kiss, but Lauren has to decline because she has "rounds" very early in the morning. Actually, you know... she might really have rounds. We haven't seen much whorishness lately. Lauren begins to apologize for failing to live up to expectations since she knows most of David's dates don't end without humps. David shushes her affectionately. "You're totally different. [You're not a whore like those other girls.]" He kisses her goodnight and they part ways for the evening.

At The Love Nest of Nurtured Annoyance. Jonah spastically tries to put on a black tie though he is shirtless. Why? Jonah expounds that he has been given a pity job by Ella as the WPK IT guy. Riles is a little uncomfortable at the idea of Jonah going to work with Ella, but that's to be expected. Riley is uncomfortable at the idea of anything that isn't stupid and selfish. To top it off, she can't offer much help financially, since no one is hiring teachers mid-semester. Suddenly, and probably as a ploy to distract from her overall crappiness, Riley starts getting a little frisky. She admits to Jonah that she has a huge "Honey, I'm home" fantasy before laying him down on their bed and climbing on top of him. Get a room, you two. Nobody wants to see that.

Meanwhile, there's some friskiness going on at the Mansion Mancini. Michael is all over Vanessa until she somewhat inappropriately brings up David in the middle of it all. Yeah, please bring up my illegitimate son while I'm trying to sex you. Thanks. Michael is probably appreciative, however, that this raises a red flag in the perpetually ongoing battle of dimwits between father and son. The doctor is definitely distracted from the task at hand with Vanessa by this new information that David was snooping around his car. He asks to be excused for a minute so he can go out and check the status of his vehicle. He goes straight for where he had Sydney's bloody necklace stashed to find that it is now missing. Damn that cat burglar son of mine!

Melrose Place

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