Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: C | 1392 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Red Herrings and Red Hair
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Auggie stands naked in the shower. Wow, MP, you're already pulling out that card, huh? That washboard-ab'd, taut-muscled, glistening-skinned, clear-eyed... wait a minute. I'm not gay. What the hell was that all about? Anyway, Auggie isn't just washing away the dirt of a long day. Blood washes down the drain as we see a deep, bloody gash on the back of his shoulder. *SIGH* Laying it on a little thick with the clues, are we? Please let us believe for more than the first five minutes that Auggie isn't just a distraction from the real killer.

Outside Lauren is on her way home from a long night of prostitution when she bumps into David. He teases her about catching her on a walk of shame. I've read way too many Texts From Last Night to be amused by this exchange.

Riley wakes up Jonah with breakfast in bed. She's all riled up (sorry) and acting like a cat in heat as she pounces on Jonah. Knock, knock, knock on the door. Riley gets up and answers to find a surprised Ella. "What are you still doing here?" That's not suspicious at all, El. She walks in uninvited before jumping into a spiel about the tenants of The Complex being uncomfortable after Sydney's murder, wanting some sort of surveillance system put into place. Ella dubs Jonah the resident AV geek and asks him to rig something up for them so they can save time and money. Jonah, being the nerd he is, obliges, saying he can use a camera he uses for Skype. Hey, Jonah, what do you use for Twitter and Facebook? You're so cool. I want to be just like you. Riley is still in in-out-in-out mode and lies to Ella about her and Jonah planning to go to the beach so she can get Jonah out of the obligation. She tries telepathy with Ella, but either Ella isn't operating on the same telepathic frequency or she knew exactly what she walked in on and is a badass bitch who knows how to screw with people on the fly. I like to think it's the latter. Will you marry me, Ella?

Violet is lounging outside by the pool with a newspaper as Auggie walks out with parts of a newspaper himself. She tells him she borrowed his classifieds. Violet mentions a modeling job she found that pays $300 and requires no past experience. I bet Lauren posted that. Auggie advises her to steer clear of that ad, but there's a hostess job that just opened up at his restaurant, which I've finally found out is called Coal. Isn't it nice when coincidences bring two characters who have nothing in common together? Detective Rodriguez pops up behind Auggie, like, "where did he come from" pops up behind Auggie. He starts asking Auggie questions and... FLASHBACK. We're at the famous AA meeting on St. Patrick's Day. Auggie walks in the door and stands there without joining the group. Sydney comes over to him and deadpans, "You know, I don't think it counts with the courts if you don't actually come in." After some more charming on the part of Sydney, she suggests they could have some fun if they get out of there. We cut to them violently making out, rolling around on the ground. Auggie ends up on top of Sydney as she tears open his shirt and her eyes go wide at the sight of his abs. Clean-up on aisle vag. END FLASHBACK. Auggie tells Detective Rodriguez they were just friends. Don't ever talk to a guy who kills a girl and says he just has a friend.

Melrose Place

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