Melrose Place

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Red Herrings and Red Hair
he's not doing another friend of his a favor. Auggie's lost all his pull, apparently, because he recommended Sydney at some point as well. FLASHBACK of Sydney walking in on him hunched over a shot glass and a bottle at his desk. She begs him to tell her he didn't and he says he didn't as she snatches away the bottle and pours it down the sink. Why would he even think about it, she asks. "It's Dineen's birthday," he says. His girlfriend with an unfortunate name. Sydney's taken back by this admission considering they've been sleeping together for the last three months in this flashback. That is, until he reveals that Dineen is dead. They were at a bar together when a guy started hitting on her. Auggie started a fight with him and when it spilled outside, the guy pulled a knife. Dineen got between them in the struggle and was stabbed. She bled to death on Hollywood Boulevard. That's some Mercutio shit right there. Sydney tells him to stay sober in respect of Dineen's memory. Auggie and Sydney begin making out in back and forth jarring angled cuts. Sydney says they need to take their sobriety program seriously. That means no more sex. /FLASHBACK

Lauren is at home arguing on the phone about money. From her end of the conversation, we get that she will be kicked out of med school if she doesn't pay all her tuition by the end of the semester. Violet walks in with Ella. Somehow Violet has employed Ella to give her a fashion update so she can land her hostess job while Ella gets ready to go to the party. Lauren opens her vents and tells them she's getting kicked out of school. They act shocked and try and comfort her with possible ideas of how to get out of this mess. Violet gives Lauren a knowing look and says, "Unless.. you know, that $5,000... [you'll get if you whore yourself out like you told me you were considering doing, though I don't know you already did it and it wasn't enough]." Lauren plays it off by asking if Violet means a scholarship they discussed. Ella gives her a pep talk and tells her to do anything she can. Wow. Sometimes you think you're giving good advice and you really aren't.

Jonah's sitting at his computer scanning over surveillance footage. He sees Riley and Auggie talking and touching. He looks at the time code and realizes there was a lot of talking and touching. Riley walks in just then and thinks she's caught Jonah watching porn. He covers up what he was really watching well enough and distracts her a bit until Riley notices something strange onscreen. Someone is face down in the pool like Sydney was when she was found dead, but the time says it's 2 AM last night. It's actually Violet in the pool by herself. Creeeeeepy.

COMMERCIALS

Lauren pulls up to a really nice house. She's dressed hooker nice and is meeting a guy. He immediately introduces himself as Rick before she even is fully out of her car so that we know that this is Toby's referral. He insists he's not a skeevy dude and, actually, he doesn't seem as skeevy as Toby did. He lays out the itinerary as going out for dinner and then meeting friends for a drink. They lay down some contingency plans for explaining their relationship to people. Lauren balks at the idea of letting strangers know she's a doctor, but she's fine with pretending to be his recent girlfriend. They take off together.

Jonah and Riley are arguing over Violet maybe being Sydney's murderer. Riley says that Auggie thinks Violet's OK. This sends Jonah into a jealous hissy fit about Riley holding Auggie to be the authority on character. She can sense there's something on Jonah's mind and when she asks, he launches into what was probably supposed to be an adorable tirade. He clocked Riles' and Auggie's conversation at 37 minutes, 43 seconds. He gives a play-by-play of his recollection of what happened. There was the hand touch, shoulder (not a shoulder touch, just shoulder), and big hug. After Jonah calms down, Riley pulls out the Ella card and asks if she is the one who agreed with Jonah that Violet seems odd. Jonah says yes. Riley's had enough of this and tells Jonah flat out that it's obvious to everyone but him that Ella has a thing for him. He doesn't agree. He thinks Ella just understands his talent and gets him. Golden girlfriend opportunity here for Riley as she asks Jonah if he thinks she doesn't understand him. Golden boyfriend mistake here as Jonah doesn't give an immediate response. Riley is all "Hell to the naw" and storms off.

"Tik Tok" by Ke$ha (I feel so dirty typing that dollar sign) plays as Violet walks into Coal looking smoking hot. Marcello takes notice of her right away and asks who she is. She tells him that she's the girl he kicked out yesterday. She asks if she's got the job as Marcello and Auggie just star at her like that old school Looney Toons wolf with his tongue on the floor.

Neon colors and MTV-style angle cuts transport us to the fabled party. David and Ella walk in together. Ella is wearing what appears to be some sort of homage to the X-Men's Storm. David immediately texts Amir on the sly to expect the watch he plans on stealing soon. They run into Trudy, David's ex-girlfriend. There's very little cattiness as she introduces herself to Ella who she assumes is David's new girlfriend. Ella asks Trudy for confirmation that her target client is indeed at the party. Trudy says he's around somewhere as she excuses herself. Ella goes into Heat-Seeking Ella Mode (I've decided she's some sort of perfect robot, you see) and starts scanning around for Jasper Barnes when she make eye-contact with Lauren who is walking in hand-in-hand with Rick.

COMMERCIALS

Back at the party, it's awkward hooker introductions all around. Rick does a nice job of thinking quick on his feet for Lauren when they explain themselves. Ella and David don't really seem to care. They've got other things on their minds. Ella takes off to continue her search for Jasper. David excuses himself to go steal him a watch. Jasper is found first. Oddly enough for such a hot star, he's sitting by himself and easily approached by Ella. She jumps right into her pitch, deflecting his assertion that he's on every important magazine cover there is right now by saying he's overexposed. She warns him against becoming the next Josh Hartnett. Ouch. I still love you, Josh, 30 Days of Night and all that jazz. Jasper starts implying he wants a little bit of the other kind of lip service from Ella if he's going to consider her. He tells her he'll set up a meeting with her if she focuses on his immediate needs tonight. She thinks for a second and invites him outside. They walk out a ways away from the party before Ella orders him to drop his pants. She gives off the impressions that she's admiring his junk, but it's all a diversion from the camera phone she's holding in her hand. She snaps the pic and launches into her professional advice. 1. Put your junk away. 2. Say no to co-hosting the Spike TV Awards with Andy Dick (really good advice, that) 3. Any time you're in public, you're one click away from being texted to Perez. As Ella walks away, over her shoulder she says, "Told you you were overexposed." Jeez, I can only propose to Ella so many times in these pages.

David is in an upstairs bedroom at the party looking through a collection of watches. Ella finds him because she's in David-Seeking Mode. She assumes that he's ransacking the medicine cabinet and asks for some Benzo. As David tries to direct her out of the room with his hand on her shoulder, we see he's wearing the coveted watch. Ella takes notice of some weirdness going on and brings up the fact that Trudy didn't seem the least bit hung up on David. She accuses him of hiding something from her. David plays it cool and tells her he'd like to show her something. Is he going to flash her? Ella has apparently "seen enough flappage" for one night. David pulls out a picture of him and his mom and tells her the sob story of how his mother tracked down his deadbeat dad before she passed away. Ella is taken aback. Distraction successful.

Lauren and Rick are finishing up some sex. Lauren

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Melrose Place

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