We open with quick zoom cuts through a jumping nightclub. A lot of beautiful people doing dimly-lit beautiful things. As the camera provocatively cuts through the club trying to make things seem way edgier than they are, we end up in a cramped corridor where there's some heavy making out going on between two blondes. A guy and a girl. We're starting off simple, people. That is, until the guy's iPhone goes off with a text. Make-Out Girl tells him not to even think about it, but he sneaks a glance after telling her of course he won't. Wow, the lying has already begun. We're not even five minutes in. The text reads: "In serious trouble. Come. Now!" Let's ignore that choice of punctuation for now.
Cut to an attractive blonde having a cocktail conversation with two hipster-type guys about their client who has gone "from Inside the Actors Studio to outside of Coco De Ville doing blow with somebody else's boyfriend." Sounds fun. Hipster #1 points out that they're agents, the hipsters are, not baby-sitters. Attractive blonde responds that their client needs a new publicist. They need her. Make-Out Guy from before interrupts to tell Attractive Blonde, "Ella, Sydney's in trouble." Now, all of this paragraph happens in roughly 2.5 seconds. Without a DVR, you'd miss Ella's name and profession right out of the gate. We'll see if that really matters in the long-run. Make-Out Guy tells Ella that he has to go despite her protestation that he's her ride. He hands her a $100 bill and tells her to "cab it." Gotta love the attempt at hip dialogue there. Exit Make-Out Guy who still has no real name. Ella looks at the money, turns to Hipsters #1 and #2 and asks if they want another shot. I wish I was a hipster still.
In the club's kitchen, things are busy and they're cooking up lobster. Mmm. Make-Out-Guy-Without-A-Name-Still walks up to the cook with the lobster, who we find out is named Auggie, and asks him to come back to the penthouse with him because Sydney was totally trashed earlier. We haven't met Sydney yet (or have we?), but I already like her. "You're the only one who knows how to deal with her when she gets like this," he tells Auggie, but Auggie can't leave because they're swamped in the kitchen. He tells... jeez why doesn't he have a name yet (?) that if Sydney is really in trouble when he gets there, to call him and he'll try to get out of the kitchen. The guy that isn't Auggie walks away.
Jarring cut to a hospital from a rolling stretcher medical drama point-of-view where a young female doctor is comforting an older woman who is being carted along with that stretcher cam. She meets up with her supervising physician and gives him the rundown of the patient before her phone rings. It's nameless guy on the other end asking the doctor -- whose name is Lauren -- when she gets off if she can meet him at the penthouse. He says she's in pretty bad shape as if it's assumed that there can be only one person they could be talking about. Lauren says she can't get out because she's working the graveyard shift, but stops to give some advice. "Listen to me, David," (his name is David!) "If you can't wake her up, or if her eyes don't dilate, don't waste time calling me, OK? You gotta call 9-1-1." Yeah, David. Don't bother me with your potential life or death situation when I'm a health professional. Ass.