Melrose Place

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Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now!
The Deep End
of bills. Drew and Riley enter the commotion. Jonah greets them and seems a little bothered that they're together. Riley says she knew there would be a party but she didn't know it would be a blowout. Jonah gives his little speech about giving back to the people who believed in him. Ella walks up with smoking shots in test tubes for everyone. They all take a shot. Ella teases drew about a baby doll he has, asking who he knocked up. Drew not so modestly boasts about them being for the pediatric ward. Riley makes a bitchy comment about giving back and walks off. Jonah seems disturbed by this. I seem indifferent.

David drunkenly finds Lauren up on a balcony overlooking the pool. He starts in right away. "I know why you broke up with me." Lauren tries to cut him off, but he doesn't stop. "Just say it. I grew up in a trailer. I didn't go to a fancy college. I have a rap sheet, not a resume. I'm not good enough for you." Wow. David's quickly becoming quite the sympathetic character. Lauren says that's not why she had to break up with him and cops out behind the excuse he doesn't know who she really is and she's not good enough for him. As she says this, she spots Michael down by the pool, who locks eyes with her. She tells David she can't talk about this anymore and starts to leave. She turns back to say she's sorry.


Lauren descends the courtyard stairs and goes straight to Michael. How does that make sense? Wouldn't David be watching her right now? Just as Lauren gets to Michael, Amanda taps him on the shoulder. He turns to her and Lauren scoots off unnoticed. Amanda asks how he heard about the party. Surely not on Twitter, she jabs. Pssh... Gowalla. Hel-looo. Mike thinks on his feet and says he was in the area and thought to check on Amanda and see how she's doing with the prescriptions he wrote her. All men think quicker on their feet when they're after a hooker. Just then Jane shows up to complain about the noise. Michael turns around and there's a spark between the two. Amanda suggest Jane have a mojito before trying to pull the plug on the party and leaves the two to talk.

Amanda finds Ella. Ella suddenly perks up and gets in WPK mode. Amanda tells her to relax since they're off the clock and suggests they have a drink together like Ella used to do with Sydney. Amanda asks about Sydney's painting. Ella is a dead end, but she suggests Amanda ask David. Amanda changes the subject to ask Ella about what's happening with the Jasper account. I thought they were off the clock. Ella takes this opportunity to come clean about all the missing money. She has no one she suspects, but still Amanda doesn't seem to suspect Ella anymore... How did that work? Amanda walks off angry at the fact her money is gone. Ella smiles, seemingly off the hook.

Riley plays beer pong with Drew. See? BEER PONG! Jonah walks in and challenges Drew. Drew doesn't want to, but Jonah talks enough shit in front of everyone that Drew has to. They go back and forth in a hotly contested game until Jonah beats Drew and gloats like a madman. He ends his celebration by grabbing Ella and planting a kiss on her with one eye open, watching Drew leave with Riley.

David drunkenly knocks on Lauren's apartment. He leans exhausted with one hand resting on her door. Lauren slowly creeps over to her door and puts her hand on the exact same spot on her side of the door. We're made very aware of this mirrored hand placement. Just then Morgan shows up out of nowhere, happy to see David. David's not happy to see her. He loudly acts surprised to see her and leads her away from Lauren's door to his apartment.

Jonah stumbles around the pool and runs into his nerdy buddy who is excited to have talked to a really hot girl who asked for a bottle opener. He really needs that bottle opener. Drunk Jonah says he has one, but it's in Riley's apartment. Hey... where has Jonah been staying this whole time? With Ella and Lauren? Still with David? Jonah stumbles into the darkness of Riley's apartment and goes straight to the kitchen. He hears a noise. Uh oh. He creeps down the hallway to find Riley sitting in Drew's lap at the dining table, the two of them making out. Drew notices Jonah and stops. They all stare at each other.

Commercials and... public service announcement with Katie Cassidy and Michael Rady about not texting while driving. So that's what that was all about. No jokes here. I support this.

Jonah skulks about the party sipping from his straw. Ella finds him and notices he's upset. He tells her exactly why he's upset. He's most upset about how quickly Drew moved in on Riley. Ella's like, "Hello? [Do you remember how quickly you sought my vag?]" Jo walks into the party and Ella asks in spectacularly drunken fashion to no one in particular, "Did someone think this party wasn't bossy and overbearing enough?"

In David's apartment, he and Morgan look at Sydney's painting. Morgan wants to get it on, but David stops her. He wants to put a stop to any notion they could be Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He tries to convince her he's boring now, but Morgan isn't buying it. She knows he'll never give up the thrill of stealing. She kisses him as Amanda walks in and asks if she's interrupting. David says Morgan was just leaving. Morgan obliges to the imposed exit. Amanda starts accusing David of stealing paintings, but David stands his ground. Amanda asks David about Sydney's paintings. David says there's just the one he has and one she gave Auggie before she died. Oh, yeah... that guy. Amanda leaves gladly.

Jane and Michael are drunk upstairs in the courtyard, reminiscing. Michael suggests sex to relive the past. Jane suggests not. Jo pops up and they have a little time warp reunion moment. Then Amanda pops in. She makes a lame joke about doing it again in ten years and scoots off, disinterestedly. Jo follows her to begin accusing her of bleeding her own company dry and wants a donation to keep quiet about it. Ella overhears from behind a pillar. Behind a pillar? Really?

Drew finds Jonah still simmering about what he saw. Drew: "Diagnosis: awkward." Jonah plays it off by saying he's with Ella now. Drew laughs it off and is glad they can be best buds about all this now and he can go back to trying to bang Riley. Then Drew makes a joke about not having to get a deadbolt now for Riley's door. Jonah gets ticked off because his name is still on that lease and he doesn't think Drew should be telling him what he can and can't do, ie. entering Riley's apartment unannounced. Drew makes it clear Jonah can't do whatever he wants regarding Riley anymore because she's no longer his girlfriend. Jonah shoots back with the assertion Drew is just desperate, showing up and flirting with every girl at the apartments until he landed one. A shoving match starts and, finally -- 16 episodes in -- somebody gets thrown into the pool without it involving a murder. Jonah and Drew slug it out in the pool and for some reason the rest of the partygoers decide to jump in as well, instead of watching the fight. Dramatic pool fights just aren't what they used to be.

Scene of the night. Lauren sits in her apartment alone, crying. Her phone rings and it's Michael. He's outside her front door. Lauren tells Michael he needs to stop calling. Michael's still playing the blackmail game. He threatens to tell Lauren's friends about her slutccupation if she doesn't give him what he wants. Lauren hangs up the phone and opens her door to tell him to leave her alone. Lauren ignores Michael's continued threats as she spots all her friends by the pool helping Jonah out. She turns to Michael, "The compromises I made in my personal life, I made to protect the one thing that mattered to me and that was my medical career." Michael says this will be good for her career. She walks off toward her friends. He tells her not to walk away from him. "Watch me." Lauren goes up to everyone and says there's something she needs to tell them. Michael watches from afar. Ella asks if maybe Lauren has had too much to drink, but Lauren says this isn't a drunk confession she'll f

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Melrose Place




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