Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now!
The Deep End
orget. As random tears cascade down her face: "I lied to you. All of you. [To David] And I know I hurt you. [Back to everyone] Six months ago I fell behind in my tuition payments and I had to come up with money fast or my dream of becoming a doctor was going to be over. So I did something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I had sex for money... I was a prostitute." The whole thing plays out half after-school special drivel, half oh shit. Everyone looks on in stunned silence until David just walks past Lauren.


Next morning. Ella and Jonah stir awake together in Ella's bed, hung over. Jonah asks Ella, "Dream or reality: I heard Dr. Lauren Yung declare herself a prostitute." Ella: "It's not a dream. It's a nightmare." Jonah asks if he really tackled Drew into the pool. "Normally I find a brawl between two red-blooded boys kinda sexy, but when it's over your ex-fiancée -- not so much." Jonah sits up and apologizes. Ella just says he better be sure he's over this. Jonah says he is and tries to kiss her with his tequila breath. Ella's not having it. Her phone goes off with a text from Amanda, summoning her to work on a Saturday.

David plays with his food at Coal. Lauren shows up and tries to apologize. David: "How many times did you look me in the eye and lie? And the scary thing is how good you were." Lauren says she didn't want to get involved with David, but she couldn't help it because she's never felt this way about anyone before. David doesn't know how he's supposed to believe anything she says anymore. Lauren tells him she loves him, which she's supposedly never told anyone before. David is seemingly unmoved. Lauren gets up and leaves him alone. It's the ones we love who hurt us the most. This holds especially true for prostitutes.

Riley is getting dressed to go for a run while on the phone with Lauren's voicemail. "Remember, I know what it feels like to have your whole world drop out from under you. I'm your best friend, Lauren. I'll always be here. Call me back." How great would it have been if Riley had punctuated that message by playfully calling her best friend "hooker" at the end? "Call me back, hooker!"

Jonah steps out into The Complex Courtyard with a single trash bag and looks at all the trash left in the wake of the party. Riley enters the scene on her way for her run. She asks what Jonah was thinking going into her apartment last night. He apologizes for how he acted. "You and Ella have been nesting like lovebirds in this courtyard ever since the night we called off our wedding. Do you think that's been easy for me?" She walks out.

At ULA, Drew uses a keycard to enter the morgue. He uncovers a cadaver and pulls out a scalpel. He begins to cut... Is Drew a black market organ dealer, too?! Come on, now.

WoodwardPK. Ella cheerfully enters Amanda's office. Amanda immediately accuses her of being the embezzler, but Ella reveals she overheard Amanda and Jo's conversation and knows Amanda's setting her up. With the amount of money missing, Ella is facing serious jail-time, even for a first offense. In the face of Ella's accidental sleuthing, all Amanda says is Ella will need to work hard to make amends. Weak. Super, duper weak.

-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.

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Melrose Place




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