Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: B | Grade It Now!
Further Down the Spiral

Either my DVR was tardy, or we actually did without "Ella Simms! Junior Publicist!" this week. If it was the former, please don't email me. Ignorance is bliss. We jump straight into a celebration for the sale of Jonah's screenplay. Ella's there, talking about getting famous actor Owen Anderson to play the lead. David and Lauren are there... hmm. Who's missing? Besides Auggie and Violet -- which Ella dutifully addresses how weird it was for them to ride off into the sunset together -- the notable absence is Riley. As the group's drunkenness hits a fever pitch and Ella steps away, the rest of the group begins to acknowledge the break-up. Jonah thanks Lauren for coming and takes it as a sign she has sided with him. Lauren corrects him that it's simply Riley understands he and Lauren are still friends regardless of what happened. She leaves to go to her shift at the hospital. This leaves David and Jonah alone. The only advice David can offer is the same thing everyone keeps offering to Jonah: Ella is there and wants him. David toasts to looking to the future as Jonah looks over his shoulder at Ella.

Lauren's already in scrubs at ULA and one of her patients is already about to die. Makes sense. She gets him to stabilize as Dr. Mancini walks in and reveals it's actually his patient and he's at fault for the patient's allergic reaction. A nurse comes in and Lauren covers for Michael's mistake. He thanks Lauren and tries to hurry away, but Lauren catches him out in the hallway to offer him some sympathy for what he's going through. You know, his wife being murdered after murdering the woman he had an affair with and all. I swear, people are such drama queens these days. Lauren's sympathy turns into advice about a leave of absence, but this just provokes a stern lecture from Michael about not needing a stern lecture from his student.

Thirst-quenching title card

Morning in The Complex Courtyard. Jonah is passed out on pool furniture. He's awoken by Ella who has copies of Variety and The Hollywood Reporter in her hand with Jonah on the front pages. The good news keeps rolling in. Ella has scored a meeting with Owen Anderson to talk about signing him to play the lead in Living in Reverse. Enter David just in time to tease Jonah about being too hung-over to probably close the deal. Enter Riley just in time to make everything awkward for everyone. She walks by in nice business attire. Ella calls out to her about Jonah's article. Riley half-heartedly replies, "Congratulations," and keeps walking. Jonah: "Okay. Was that awkward for anyone else?" It was simply delicious over here, J. The tension is finally sliced through by the loud wailing of an electric guitar. It's coming from Auggie's old apartment. Lauren bursts out from her first-floor apartment and comically stomps past the group as Ella comments that you do not disturb Lauren when she's trying to sleep in...

...Laur goes up to the door, bangs a few times and then just barges in to shockingly find a shirtless guy wearing a bath towel with headphones on and a guitar in his hands. The camera works up this man's body up to his glistening pectorals. We can see by the rippling of his muscles that he is playing a G spot... er... note. Lauren can't get his attention, so she rips his guitar cord from the amp. He apologizes for not realizing he had the speaker on and his charm is completely lost on Lauren who only wants to make it clear how important her sleep is. She starts to storm out of his apartment, and he yells after her, "See you at the pool," which stops Lauren in her tracks. She resumes her thunder-deprived storm out, leaving the guy to smile to himself.

At WoodwardPK, Riley walks up the steps to Amanda's office, wearing the outfit we saw her in earlier. Riles thanks Amanda for agreeing to see her and goes into talking about some research she's done which has revealed to her that Ben's foundation is one of the most progressive in inner-city educational reform. Amanda cuts her off to assume that Riley would like her to introduce them, which Riley politely confirms. The thing is: Riley isn't terribly qualified as far as Amanda is concerned. Don't forget how perfect Ben is. What would he want with a crappy first-grade teacher running one of his programs? Amanda still agrees to give Riley his phone number, but only on the condition she doesn't get her hopes up. Ah, back-handed charity, how I love thee. As Riley walks out, one of Amanda's peons is waiting by the door. He totally looks like an accountant, and appropriately, Amanda asks him if he's heard anything about her finances. Apparently, her financial advisor has run off with $15 million of her money. Amanda is broke. If she continues to borrow against WPK's assets, she'll lose that, too. This news blurs the camera lens, or rather, gives Amanda heart palpitations. Either way, I'm uncomfortable.


Speed editing introduces us to a glorified go-kart track. Ella walks Jonah to his meeting with the "gigantic toddler" Owen Anderson. He happens to be driving by them and screeches his go-kart wheels to a halt. Owen hops out, glad to see "Cruella Simms." How had I not thought of that? Oh, right... because I love her. He runs up and hugs her, lifting her up and making her uncomfortable very quickly. Ella asks Owen to put her down, so he turns to Jonah and lifts him up instead. Tells him his script is "the most bitchin'" he's ever read. Yup.

Riley is having her meeting with Ben already the very same day. For "the most interesting man in the world" he sure keeps his schedule open. He looks over her proposal and is utterly impressed. He offers very little of the resistance Amanda tried to build up against Riley's expectations. Ben gets up to hurry off to a supposed polo match, when in reality he's probably going to meet with some other under-qualified schoolmarm who just called his phone. Riley stops him to ask when she can expect to hear his decision. He tells her it would be pointless to make her wait for a yes. For this show, that sort of attitude is a breakthrough.

Back at Manchild Raceway, Owen is recounting his favorite moments from Jonah's script. He can't believe Jonah was able to come up with such funny stuff, but the truth of the matter is Jonah really didn't. It's based mostly on real events that happened in his and Riley's relationship. Owen realizes he likes the script so much because it's rooted in reality. He asks to meet Riley, Jonah's muse. Jonah's ready to tell him, "Hey, the only thing she inspired me to do was sleep with this here junior publicist," when Ella butts in to put words in Jonah's mouth. She says they can call her without a problem so Owen can meet her. Jonah needs a moment alone with Ella, he tells Owen. After a little bickering, Ella convinces Jonah that Riley has a big enough heart to play nice for one day if it means Jonah being successful. Elle, Riley couldn't even do that when they were together. I've got five-to-one odds this ends in a Riley implosion. Any takers?

Back at ULA, someone informs Lauren she has been pegged to show the new transfer doctor from Johns Hopkins around. Naturally, it's the guitar guy from The Complex. "You're my transfer from Johns Hopkins?" "You actually inspire people to stay alive?" Snip-snap. We learn our new tenant's name is Drew Pragin. How many "Pragin' Dr. Drew" jokes do you think he had to endure in med school? Lauren tries to be all business to avoid the obvious competitive sexual tension. Drew pretty much has Lauren's past pegged. He guesses correctly Lauren was the only sophomore in her AP biology class and she hasn't laughed much recently. This guy is a doctor. I'm sold

David checks his mail in The Complex Courtyard. He has a letter in his hand from Vanessa, delivered posthumously. He reads it with a voice over from Vanessa as he walks up the stairs to his apartment. In the letter, she states if he is reading it, she is dead and that there is one thing he must know. Davis is Noah's father. He sits down dramatically on the staircase.

1 2Next

Melrose Place




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP