Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now!
Jane, Stop This Crazy Thing!

We open on a couple making out in a car. It takes a short while before we see that it's David with a hot brunette in his Porsche parked in an alley. We see from a point-of-view angle the inside of a parked car staked out behind David's Porsche. A man is inside watching the make-out fest. The couple is oblivious, as the brunette claims she's never done this before. Psh. Whatever. A girl who looks like you probably makes out in your sleep. Drop the charges, Michelle! Anyway, David tells her she's good for her first time. They get ready to leave, and as David checks his mirrors, he notices the car. As they drive off, the stalker guy pics up his cell phone in a very stalkerish way. This guy's good.

At The Complex Pool, Lauren, Jonah and Riley are having themselves a little relaxation thing -- just shooting the shit, drinking and trying to look good doing it. A text comes in for Lauren from Toby, her first-ever customer, asking if she'd be interested in meeting up when he comes into town. She looks at the text while wrestling with the moral dilemma that comes with being a vagina rental place. David walks in on the pool party in time to see Lauren get the text and asks if it's a hospital emergency. Lauren jokes about having a drink in her hand, meaning she's not on call. Funny stuff there, Lauren. Violet shows up bragging about her new phone. She gloats like this is a commercial. It has a full slide-out keyboard! Jonah thinks Violet is crazy. I know! What do you need a slide-out keyboard for? Touch screen all the way, kids. But yeah, Jonah thinks Violet is a psycho wacko and tries to deter Riley from giving Violet her phone number. Riley ignores him and gives Violet the digits. Oh, Riley. Stupid, stupid Riley. Ella enters the scene and brings some information that actually sets shit in motion. It's like these characters have nothing to do until Ella shows up. She starts to talk shop with Jonah about an upcoming film premiere starring an actress named Abby Douglas. She offers passes to Jonah, but he's apparently already going because he used to be roommates with the director, Zach McGalvan. Riley perks up at the sight of her fiancée talking business with the woman who is so much better for him than she is. Riley tries to derail Ella's connection with Jonah, but Ella cats up on Riley, again pulling out the schoolteacher card. SCORECARD: Ella 2,437 - Riley 0. Riles is the Detroit Lions of The Complex. When she finally bests Ell, we're going to celebrate it like it still matters after years of futility. A woman walks up on the tenants' nautical good times. She introduces herself as Jane Andrews -- Sydney's sister. And she's inherited the building, making her their new landlord. Weak.

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Melrose Place




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