It appears we've reached the end of the line, and this episode knows it. They throw in the kitchen sink and move at a brisk pace tonight, beginning with David's surprisingly quick opening of a new club after he just purchased Coal. At such an attention-grabbing stunt, of course you're bound to get the wrong kind of attention. Morgan is still actively stalking David, and she's getting quite good at doing it in front of Lauren, whom David is beginning to warm up to again. David can't just shrug Morgan off anymore, because she has now told her father all about him. Daddy makes it clear that if David hurts Morgan, dad will hurt David. That's not such a big deal, but when David tries to reconcile with Lauren, Morgan jumps in and tries to claim David right in front of Lauren. He's not having that. David admits everything about stealing from Morgan's family and having to sleep with her and declares his love for Lauren, leaving Morgan smoldering. She tells her dad the whole truth this time, which leads him to threaten David -- and when David refuses to yield -- he also threatens to hurt Lauren. What does Dangerous Dad want? He wants David to do some burglarizing for him. The cat burglar cycle never ends with this guy.
There's another ill-fated attempt at reconciliation. Two in one episode! Jonah and Riley go to a college reunion together after Jonah goes back to her apartment to gather up the last of his things, symbolizing the ultimate end of their relationship. They get to reminiscing, and the whole episode it's just a big "Guh, shut up, you two. Nobody cares about the times you shared together." Their special past together is reinforced by former classmates who can't believe they are no longer together. It all culminates in the two of them sharing a nostalgic kiss when they get back home. Jonah wants to get back together, but Riley has moved on. She ends up being the one with the guts to say it's really over. Jonah has to sulk back to Ella, but he at least musters more spine than usual and admits what he did. Ella leaves him. Riley goes through the same confessional with Drew, but his reaction is a bit different. He takes the opportunity to suggest Riley leave him since he hasn't got long to live. What? He has one of Dr. Mancini's poisonous heart valves in him. Oh, I get it; he's so full of life because he's dying. That's what this ridiculous character has been all about. Way to keep that one close to the chest, guys.
Drew's investigation into those deadly heart valves leads him to confront Michael directly, since we all know Lauren can't be counted on for shit. Dr. Mancini seems receptive to investigating further, but really he just wants to draw Drew in so he can get rid of him and protect himself. He frames Drew for stealing Oxycontin, and Drew's removed by security right in front of Lauren as he raves like a lunatic for her to stop Michael. She does just that. Right as they're about to perform another surgery which would implant a heart valve, Lauren takes off her surgical mask and contaminates the operating room to prevent the surgery from taking place. She announces to all the present doctors what is going on with the heart valves. How dramatic. She should announce her former hooker life, too.
Now for the story we all thought we would be getting when Amanda Woodward returned: Ella versus Amanda. We start with Amanda's anticipated firing of Ella, complete with a bitch slap after Ella calls Amanda a desperate and washed-up bitch. Hell yeah! Ella goes in search of Jonah at Riley's to lick her wounds and instead finds Sydney's painting. She recognizes it and realizes she has the proper weapon of mass blackmail now. She goes to Amanda and makes some demands in exchange for the painting. First, she wants her name cleared of the embezzling charges, and she wants her own firm financed with Amanda's money. They reach an agreement, but Amanda reneges on it after getting her hands on the painting and selling it. There was some fine print in their contract, which stated Amanda could terminate the agreement at her discretion. Ella anticipates this and has some photos she snapped of Amanda trafficking the painting. She has the FBI come and arrest Amanda and assumes Amanda's role as head of (Formerly W)PK. Ella: 1, Amanda: 0. Amanda vows revenge, but we all know this show is over.
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Well, it appears our time together has come to an end, my friends. Let's not be sad. Let's cherish the good times we've had. Like remember the time in season one when Sydney got murdered? Or back in season one when we had a cook as a main character? And I know I'll never forget in season one when Ashley Simpson-Wentz had crazy eyes. One day, we'll all look back on this and laugh. Then we'll cry together, thinking of what might've been and how we all wasted 18 hours of our lives on this thing.
The Complex Pool. Lauren, all alone with her hooker self, swims laps. Most likely trying not to think about where her life went so wrong. It was probably when she started having sex for money. She was a prostitute.
Sweaty Ella and Jonah collapse next to each other in bed after they finish getting it on. Shudder. Jonah wants Ella to be his date to a college mixer so he can show her off, but Amanda's going to be back in the office, so that's a negative from Ella. Ella's dreading the outcome of facing the mighty Woodward. Jonah gives Ella a pep talk about dealing with the situation. He says Amanda has never faced Ella Simms before. That's right. She's dealing with her derivative. Shake in your designer boots, Amanda! SHAKE!
Drew makes crappy breakfast for Riley in the Usurped Love Nest. Riley informs Drew that Jonah will be coming by to pick up the last of his stuff and move into Violet's old place. Drew quips that he'll miss the killer comic book collection. Hi-larious. Riley points out she'll miss all the art on the walls since it all belongs to Jonah. Ah, but Drew has a solution. He hurries off to a closet and pulls out a tiny painting. This couldn't be... could it? It's Sydney's painting! Thank God somebody found that damn thing! Drew says it's not much, but it's a start for their art collection. Riley's particularly fond of Sydney's work.
Cut to Amanda on the phone saying she can have the painting to her dealer today. She hangs up and suddenly there's Sydney. But Sydney's dead! Dead Sydney is particularly catty to Amanda. She asks if Amanda had to sleep with Auggie after tracking him down to get him to tell her where the painting was. Amanda's pretty calm about the fact she's hallucinating. "You're not real. Go away." She adds that she's not a perpetual screw-up like Sydney, and she gets what she wants. Amanda pops some pills and starts to walk out. Dead Sydney calls after her, advising her not to be so cocky, and disappears.