Melrose Place

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: C- | 768 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Jonah and Riley's Infinite Crapfest
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It was only a matter of time before we were greeted by the familiar CGI sky transition to begin an episode. Still not sure why, though. We're not really transitioning from anything. Inside the Love Nest, Riley is checking herself out in the mirror and pretend modeling. Jonah pops out of nowhere and starts snapping photos, egging her on with a faux British accent and standard fashion photographer speak. Riley asks if she looks tired, but Jonah's having too much fun. Her smile "could melt the polar ice caps," he says. She feels guilty about lying to her students to take the day off, but in typical MP fashion, Jonah has little concern for America's education. Riley obviously hates having all the attention on her so she brings up the fact Jonah has a big meeting at Paramount about his film Living in Reverse. He's not nervous at all about it though he will be meeting with Andrew Misher, a producer who has made billions off his feature films. Jonah credits Riley with talking him up so he could have this opportunity.

Outside, Auggie is staring up in a daze. Riley steps out to find Auggie looking up at a sparrow's nest in a tree. They had some sort of bet about when the sparrows would return or something equally cheesy and flirty. Violet comes out of her apartment, careless about her homely appearance, which suggests she saw the flirting from inside her apartment and came out to put a stop to it. She interrupts them immediately and begins asking Riley if she shouldn't already be at work. Riles reveals to the both of them she's a model now. Violet feigns excitement. What do you do when your crush is being impressed by another woman in front of you? Try to stress her out about her successes. It's all in the Passive-Aggressive Handbook. Given more time, it might've worked for Violet, but Riley leaves to go to her modeling gig. Now that she finds herself alone with Auggie, Violet starts setting him up to ask him a favor. She doesn't want to be the neighbor who always asks for a cup of sugar, she says, but we know that she's perfectly OK with being the neighbor who always shamelessly throws herself at said neighbor. Auggie has a look of pure discomfort and masked annoyance as Violet works up to asking him to help her put some furniture together. Auggie reluctantly agrees and leaves. Violet looks up at the sparrows' nest and walks off.

Melrose Place

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