David arrives at The Complex and there's a trying-way-too-hard-to-establish-something drop crane shot as he enters the archway with the famous address of 4616 Melrose Place. This is immediately followed by a soap opera-style establishing shot of Sydney lurking in the dark of her apartment, staring out her window past David as he walks up the steps to her door. He opens the unlocked door and cautiously searches for Sydney. He finds her having a drink at her little bar and looks more pissed off than relieved. She lounges in her seat and tells David she knows this is the last place he wants to be right now, but she's done something really, really bad. David's like, "Yeah, whatever. Adios," and turns to leave, but she implores him to stay. He asks her why he should after all her lies, and she goes into nostalgia mode about how when she lived here before it was like a big family. She thought if she came back she could have a family like that again, but everyone has abandoned her. David says he isn't going to feel sorry for her and he has a life now that doesn't include her. He starts to leave, but Sydney's last gambit is to threaten David with some things he might've told her when they were still close. He perks up and asks her what she wants. Sydney asks him just to stay. He obliges. David, that's the first thing they teach you about dealing with manipulative cougars.
CGI transition from night skies over The Complex to fake, pink, morning skies. A young couple spoons in bed, practically fully clothed as their alarm clock goes off. You're already starting to lose me, MP. Female half of the couple asks what the occasion is for the early wake-up. Is male half going to help her teach the pledge of allegiance to her students? A teacher. That could get interesting... Ok, maybe not. They do the brushing teeth thing together as male explains he has some film editing to do and a birthday party to shoot. Female asks what's on tap for tonight with an obvious agenda and male brushes past her with way-too-obvious male obliviousness. A screening of a new print of Reservoir Dogs is tonight, he says. I wish you weren't just being a cheesy boyfriend and you were really going to that, male. We could be friends. There are way too many pop culture references in this scene. I skipped over Halo because I hate Halo, but there's that, Reservoir Dogs, Lord of the Rings and then the píèce de résistance. After trying to get male (revealed to be named Jonah) to acknowledge their anniversary, he plops down in front of the TV for misdirection and begins playing a sappy home movie of the couple set to Bright Eyes' "First Day of My Life." Lame. I don't care what your film credentials are, that's the laziest romantic gesture I've ever seen, and I once gave my girlfriend a Ren & Stimpy T-shirt for her birthday. And question: who was filming these shared moments between them? They're together in practically every shot of this iMovie travesty. He does manage to pull off some impressive (actually, I think it's rather scary) misdirection again when his film self says "Happy 5 Year Anniversary, Riley Richardson. Oh, and one more thing..." She turns to see Jonah has disappeared from his seat on the couch (see? scary) and is now kneeling beside her with a ring. He asks her the question and there's a scream. Not a scream of joy, mind you, but a shriek from outside. They rush out of their apartment to find a deer-in-headlights redhead (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz) staring down in fright as they are joined by the rest of the new cast around the swimming pool. Something tells me we're going to see that look a lot from Ashlee. The camera pulls back from their faces to show Sydney face down in the pool, her blood mixing with the chlorine and who knows what else in the Melrose Place swimming pool of indiscretion.








