Men In Trees
Ladies Frist

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Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now!
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Sister Act

Chieftain. Marin is ushering Liza in amid a flurry of disclaimers: "Try not to judge, it's not New York." Everyone turns to look at the skirts, and Liza flutters, "It's lumberjack heaven!" She waves excitedly at all the dudes; Marin anxiously reminds her that she just got out of a relationship, and Liza thinks that means she's "free and clear and ready for takeoff!" As she makes a beeline for the bar, taking off her gorgeous blue gloves, she points at Jerome and gasps, "You are adorable." Jerome looks pleased to get any female attention, patronizing or no. Liza chirps that she wants to put him in her pocket and take him home. "Do I get to pick which pocket?" he asks, leering at her ass. Marin stiffly introduces Liza and Jerome. By now, Liza's taken off her coat to reveal a strappy tank top (over a supersonically powerful push-up bra, based on what I know of Ever Carradine from her past performances), and she makes a big show of breathing in the "man scent" in the air. Ben, tickled, jokes that some of his patrons don't shower that often, but Liza loves the funk, since she's sick of metrosexuals. She wants a "man man...a countrysexual!": "I want a guy who would kill a bear for me and make me a coat out of it -- do they do that here?" Jerome raises a finger, like, "Right here," and Marin says that they do kill bears, but that she can't vouch for anyone's skill with a sewing machine. She introduces Ben to Liza, who barely registers him before flirt-waving at another dude down the bar and telling Marin, "I think my next husband's here." Marin reminds her that she's still technically still married to Husband #2, and Liza breezily tells Marin she's no fun. Interesting strategy, introducing a character more flighty, shallow, and boy-crazy than Marin. Anyway, Liza shrugs, "You can't help it if you fall in love, Marin. Love is bigger than all of us, and I believe in love." Marin rolls her eyes, like having someone else pontificate about love is so irritating, and Jerome pipes up to tell Liza, "I love you." Liza melts, her hands crossed on her chest. Marin tells him to keep his hands off her baby sister. Jerome agrees with Liza that she's no fun.

Sheriff's/Jack's office. Marin bursts in to talk to Annie -- and to Patrick, who is also there. He asks after New Baby, and Marin snips at him to call Liza by her real name, adding that she left Liza at the Chieftain, playing Quarters. "Quarters at noon -- that's hardcore," mutters Patrick to Annie, and Marin, with a strained smile, agrees that Liza is a handful. "Should we not have invited her?" breathes Annie, and Marin insincerely says that she loves her sister: "We're just very different. She's a force of nature, and I'm the clean-up crew!" Marin says that New Marin is going to let New Baby be herself. Annie says that every birthday should have a resolution. "And hats!" cheers Patrick, putting on a tiny red cowboy hat. Marin nixes hats, to which Patrick sadly agrees. Marin then tries to confirm that Liza is her last surprise: "My parents aren't going to jump out of a cake or something." "We didn't think of that!" quavers the sarcasm-impaired Annie, leaping to her feet. Marin tells them to...not, and Annie duly writes down, "No more surprises," because otherwise she would forget, I guess. Marin's on her way out when Jack comes in. Marin asks whether he's coming to the party. "What party?" says Jack, and Marin starts right in with the arm-flapping about the birthday that, a few hours ago, she wanted to keep a secret, but before she can get up a full head of steam on it, Jack interrupts to let her know he was kidding; she doesn't need to worry -- her birthday is the talk of Elmo. He adds, "I already laid out my clothes. Can't wait." I think Jack has decided that the best way to deal with Marin is to tell her whatever she wants to hear, rather than go with his usual radical honesty.

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Men In Trees

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