Chieftain. We join the Fristers as Liza is winding up her tale of woe by saying that it turns out the new love of her life has a kid: "Ew!" Marin saves me the trouble by saying it's shocking that this revelation could take so long to come to light when she's known the guy a whole day. Liza testily asks if Marin can't even try to make her feel better, and Marin quietly says that she has been trying (eh, not really -- not that I blame her): "But this is what you do. You think you're in love, you fall hard and fast, you get hurt, you cry on my shoulder, and two days later you think you're in love again." "Wow," huffs Liza. Marin says she's sorry, but that it's the truth. Sure, but it goes down easier with a sugary coating. Like Advil! Liza, without malice, counters that the truth is that Marin's made a career out of rooting for love for everyone on earth apart from her own sister; Marin waits for Liza to screw up so that Marin can lord it over her: "Lucky for you, I screw up a lot." Marin doesn't dispute this, but suggests a compromise: "The next time you fall in love, I promise I will be completely supportive." Liza is mollified, and squeaks, "Thank you." So now that Marin's made this ill-advised, unqualified pledge, in walks Jack. He greets Marin, who -- somehow not foreseeing trouble here at all -- casually introduces Liza, who's already preening and presenting at the sight of Jack. Not seeming interested, he says it's nice to meet her, and as he orders a beer, Liza devours him with her eyes and then turns to Marin: "Okay, I'm in love." Stupid Marin and her shortsighted oral contracts! She's like, "Jigga-what?" Liza can't believe Marin's not right there with her, and says that Jack is not just gorgeous but her "next husband." "He's okay," Marin lies, and tries to come up with something to warn her off, but has to say no each time as Liza guesses that he's "married?...seeing someone?...gay?" Hence, Liza sees no impediment to her pursuit of Jack, and calls out to him shrilly as Marin squirms: "Any chance you'd take a New York City girl out on the town while she's in Elmo?" "Uh...which New York City girl?" mumbles Jack. "Me!" squeals Liza, like she can't even conceive of any other possibility. Jack looks petrified as Liza jitters annoyingly, and then finally shrugs, "...Okay," like he's been offered opera tickets or something. Marin gives him a look like, "Oh dude, you don't know what you just agreed to," but I doubt Jack can even register it when, next to her, Liza is having an overjoyed conniption. Please, let him have a plan to throw her at one of his traps.