Men In Trees
New York Fiction, Part I

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Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Creamed

Oy. Marin returns to her apartment to find Liza getting the last of her food out of Marin's fridge. Marin thought that Liza was spending the holiday with their parents, but no; she's staying in town to meet Rob's parents. And who is Rob? Oh, her fiancé. Of course.

Celia's/Jack's. Mai shows up with a Jell-O mold, explaining to Celia that she wants to co-host Thanksgiving with her. Celia is predictably pissy, saying that she and Patrick always have Thanksgiving dinner at the Inn, with the guests. Mai says that, like it or not, she and Celia are related now, since Celia "made a baby" with Mai's husband. Celia reminds us that she slept with Buzz long before he "mail-ordered" Mai, but Mai's good mood can't be budged, and she chirps that she'll see Celia at the Inn. Celia asks why they can't do it at Mai's, and Mai explains that she has no china: "Ironic, huh?" Celia sends her on her way with a curt "no can do," and Mai shrugs that Celia can keep the Jell-O, which no one can say no to. Once she's gone, Celia glares at the Jell-O, stabs it with a pen, and hisses, "NO." Hey, it's not the Jell-O's fault! The dessert is blameless!

New York. Marin has an orgasmic experience with her deluxe shower head until, of course, she gets a little too into it and, when she tries to redirect the flow, ends up unscrewing it instead. Pretty shoddy workmanship for something she told Jane was overpriced. Just then, the doorbell rings.

Marin comes to the door in her robe to be greeted by the pinchy visage of Miss Frankel, the head of "the building board" (why they don't say "co-op," I don't know). She hands Marin a pile of Liza's mail, and gives Marin shit for illegally subletting the apartment to Liza, saying that if Marin's not going to live there, she'll have to give it up. Marin stares at her a long moment -- possibly wishing she'd gone for a condo when she had the chance -- and then confidently announces that she's moving back to New York! Well, that's that, then! Go to hell, Alaska!

The next day, Marin's standing in her shower, pretending she knows what the hell she's doing trying to fix the shower head, and babbling to Jane (sitting beside her, Blackberry in hand) that she had no remorse about her decision to return to New York; apparently she gets a stomach ache when she makes a bad call, but her stomach is utterly untroubled on this particular day. Marin monologues about how much she loves her apartment: she wrote her first book there, got engaged there, and got cheated on there. She thought of it as her "sanctuary." Jane pointedly reminds Marin that she cheated on the apartment with Elmo, but Marin says that's over: "I'm going toward the love. Publishers want me here, you want me here, I have a bird to take care of...." She's choosing New York, because New York is choosing her. Jane exposits that Marin has a dinner meeting with a Stuart Maxson, some hot publisher, that night. Marin is excited, but then crabs that if she were in Elmo, Jack would be fixing her shower head for her. Jane's Blackberry rings, and she throatily tells the caller she's at 18th and Irving Place, quickly hanging up. Marin thinks Jane called a plumber, but Jane says that it was "Plow Guy," who likes to Mapquest her, because that's not too creepy. Marin thinks it's adorable, though, and starts congratulating herself for fixing the shower head, which instantly collapses under all the attention. Call a plumber, idiot.

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Men In Trees

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