Men In Trees

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B | 359 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Dude Ranch

The guy drops Marin off at a gas station, where a vending machine holds one pack of cigarettes that somehow doesn't get stuck on a spring on its way down, even though it's TV.

Marin walks out a ways to light her first butt, but is soon hailed by Jack, shining a flashlight at her: "Stop! STOP!" "Trust me, I've tried," crabs Marin. Heh. But, no: she's walked out onto a frozen lake, which cracks under her weight.

After the break, Jack has hauled Marin from the icy depths and brought her to his little...shack. Thanks for sparing us the cliché of watching the actual rescue, show. No -- seriously! Thank you! Jack asks whether Marin didn't see the "Thin Ice" sign (and I would think she would have taken notice of it if just to use in her lectures -- that's a new one, and with so many metaphoric possibilities!). She shivers that she didn't, adding, "Seeing signs? Not my strong suit." Marin asks where they are, and is told it's an observation hut; Jack was looking for a nocturnal bear: "Instead, I found a 'relationship coach.'" He's so sarcastic, he can even put air quotes around her job title without moving his hands. Well done! Marin despondently realizes that her mishap has ruined her cigarettes, and sorts of laughs as she says she's cold. Jack says she's getting hypothermic, but that it's too dark to walk across the ice. The only way they're going to make it through the night is...yes, that other care-worn TV cliché.

Cut to Jack's and Marin's feet, bare and sticking out from under a blanket. Worst way to stay warm ever. You cover your feet, for god's sake! But yes, other than that, they're pressed together, naked, to maximize body heat. I can't tell if one of them is also handcuffed to a radiator because someone lost the key. Marin snips that their getting naked for warmth had better not be "some sad attempt to get sex" on Jack's part. Marin, I'm pretty sure that if he's not making a move when you're stripped to your skivvies and lying on top of him, he's just not that into you. Sure enough, Jack quietly says, "I don't want to have sex with you." Every time he says it, my heart grows two sizes. Jack further suggests that Marin "stop thinking in stereotypes." Well, honestly.

In the morning, Marin awakens with a look of alarm, like she'd forgotten all the previous night's events. She starts kind of inspecting Jack (what she can see of him with her chest pressed against his, that is -- which includes a giant scar down his right pec, though she doesn't really seem to register it), and then he wakes up and amusedly asks, "Everything in the right place, Coach?" Hee. The door to the hut opens a crack, through which we see a pack of wolves run by. Marin breathes, "They're mating!" but Jack corrects her: "Actually, she's just rubbing her crap in his fur." Something he knows well by now. Maybe the wolves will "get busy" later, though, he adds. Jack's like, "You can get up now. PLEASE."

Men In Trees

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