Men In Trees
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
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Dude Ranch

Cut to Jack's and Marin's feet, bare and sticking out from under a blanket. Worst way to stay warm ever. You cover your feet, for god's sake! But yes, other than that, they're pressed together, naked, to maximize body heat. I can't tell if one of them is also handcuffed to a radiator because someone lost the key. Marin snips that their getting naked for warmth had better not be "some sad attempt to get sex" on Jack's part. Marin, I'm pretty sure that if he's not making a move when you're stripped to your skivvies and lying on top of him, he's just not that into you. Sure enough, Jack quietly says, "I don't want to have sex with you." Every time he says it, my heart grows two sizes. Jack further suggests that Marin "stop thinking in stereotypes." Well, honestly.

In the morning, Marin awakens with a look of alarm, like she'd forgotten all the previous night's events. She starts kind of inspecting Jack (what she can see of him with her chest pressed against his, that is -- which includes a giant scar down his right pec, though she doesn't really seem to register it), and then he wakes up and amusedly asks, "Everything in the right place, Coach?" Hee. The door to the hut opens a crack, through which we see a pack of wolves run by. Marin breathes, "They're mating!" but Jack corrects her: "Actually, she's just rubbing her crap in his fur." Something he knows well by now. Maybe the wolves will "get busy" later, though, he adds. Jack's like, "You can get up now. PLEASE."

Dressed, Jack and Marin head to Jack's Jeep, as he tells her she'll have to drive, because he screwed up his shifting hand. Marin says she can't, and Jack tells her she has to. Marin hesitantly admits that she can't actually drive. Jack looks at her like she just told him she didn't know how to tie her shoes.

So Jack drives, and Marin shifts, musing at the irony of her using driving metaphors to teach people how to date when she doesn't even have a license. Jack doesn't really care to explore this particular aspect of Marin's professional incompetence, and tells her that Alaska is a good place to learn to drive, since it has plenty of open space. "So what's your secret?" she asks. "What you see is what you get," Jack tells her. Marin considers this, and asks him to drop her at the dock.

At the dock, Jane waits, still fiddling with her phone. Marin hops out, sans luggage. Jane asks what happened to her; Marin sort of shrugs, and Jane tells her not to worry about it: "You can shower in Chicago." Marin takes forever to announce what we've all known for an hour: she's not going. Jane tells her, "You can't stay here! They don't have a nail place! Or a spinning class!" Marin says she needs to breathe, and to start her book. "About marriage?" asks Jane, stupidly. "About men," Marin tells her. Jane reminds her that she said she didn't know anything about men, and Marin says it's time she learned. Buzz appears, and Jane hugs Marin, imploring her, "Please be okay." As she trots off, she adds, "You change editors, and I'll hunt you down and kill you." Yeah, I'm sure Marin's a treat to edit, not. Marin happily walks up the dock into town.

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Men In Trees

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