Men In Trees
Take It Like A Man

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Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now!
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Take It Like A Man

Port of Elmo. Jane hops onto Sam's houseboat, and finds Plow Guy fixing the pump, since she broke the "three sheets" rule and flushed too much paper in the toilet. Oh hell no, three sheets? Guess Jane had better plan not to visit during Shark Week, if you know what I'm saying. Jane offers to help him fix it, since she did break it. Sam starts to say it's man's work, and Jane calls him on it, but when he asks whether she's saying she wants to do it herself, she demurs, but promises sexy favours later. Given the restrictions of their accommodations, I assume they don't involve him eating corn salsa or chili off her stomach.

Inn. Patrick and Annie are daydreaming about their future house, which he would like to model after the one in Clue. Annie agrees, and frankly, so do I. Many's the time I've wished I could relax in a conservatory. Annie goes on to say that she wants kids in their dream house. Patrick is down with that. Annie wants four. Patrick goes catatonic, and frankly, so do I.

New York, by night. Stuart tells Marin that his company's excited about her book, and are looking at a winter release. Marin's psyched, since she's always been a beach read before. Stuart asks what else is new, and Marin tells him about her as-yet unbroken streak on the Chieftain pool table, adding that Jane's concerned that she's going to turn into a dude. Stuart says that he's not concerned, since no man can wear a dress like Marin does. Marin asks whether he was just flirting with her, and Stuart admits that he was, saying that it was inappropriate. Marin tells him she misses being flirted with, so Stuart ups the ante by saying that "dresses are overrated on a woman like" her. Marin glances down at her sweater and pants and purrs that she hates to tell him, but that she's not wearing a dress at the moment. Stuart asks what she is wearing (what is this, Stu, your first attempt at phone sex? Try leading with something that wouldn't occur to your GRANDMA to say). Marin, lying back, replies, "Not much..." Pan up to Abe Lincoln, presiding over all the wireless nookie.

After the credits, we're at the Chieftain, where Marin's reporting to Jane that she's a phone slut. Down the bar, Jerome barks at her to quit bragging about all her phone sex, but Marin protests that she only had phone third base, and then burps. She's horrified, immediately covering her mouth, but Ben is gratified, and Buzz hands Jerome some cash, saying he'd bet it would be spring before Marin "let one go." Marin insists that she doesn't burp (all audible evidence to the contrary), but then sighs to Jane that she's become one of her subjects, a "gorilla in the mist." A gorilla is fine; I don't need to see her big red ass or anything.

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Men In Trees

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