Men In Trees

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | 266 USERS: C+
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Why Can't We Be Friends?

After the commercials, the caribou is still chilling over by the pool table. It hasn't stopped patrons from showing up, though, apparently, and Theresa's still serving drinks and clearing tables as the guys stand around, warily watching the caribou while they get their beer on. That's dedication! Ben tells Theresa not to move too quickly, because she doesn't want to spook the caribou. She asks what they should do, and he shrugs that they could call Jack. "Jack and Marin are in Anchorage," says Theresa, as if Marin was going to be his second choice to deal with the situation -- perhaps by hooking the caribou up with an eligible mate. Celia comes in and nods at the caribou, sniffing, "Someone's angry." Her first course of action is to give Ben a ticket for keeping a wild animal as a pet. Well, that's helpful. See, Jack? This is why you need a cell phone! Before Ben can protest, Jerome appears between him and Theresa, rifle in hand, explaining as he cocks it that he's never bagged a caribou before. Not too sporting of him to take aim when the caribou is basically caged, but maybe we should just be grateful he's not going after it with a bazooka or something. Celia takes the rifle from Jerome, who crabs that the caribou is contributing to an unsafe drinking environment. "People!" Celia snaps. "This is not the wild west! This is the unincorporated town of Elmo, Alaska. And if that animal is not out of this bar by tonight, I'm calling in the feds." She turns to go, and when Jerome says he'd like his rifle back, Celia replies that she'd like her "perky butt" back, too: "Not gonna happen." Eh, her ass looks fine to me. The uniform pants don't do it any favours.

In Anchorage, Marin has prevailed upon Jack to rent a tuxedo after all, and the two are making a grand entrance at the opera, while a string quartet plays in the lobby. Marin says that he looks nice in his formalwear, and he stops at a mirror to get a load of himself, preening, "I do, don't I?" Marin appreciatively notes, "Big City Jack isn't as humble as Country Jack." Jack jokes that he needs a monocle, and maybe a top hat, and Marin suggests that they start with a drink and work their way up to a monocle. She excitedly orders a Vodka Negroni, and Jack asks for a beer, asking if that's okay with Marin. She says it is, and even changes her order, asking for two bottles of beer. The bartender flatly informs them, "This is the opera. We don't serve beer in bottles." "Oh, funny -- 'cause you do serve attitude," Marin shoots back. Jack comments, "The city makes you feisty!" They clink their beers, and then Jack kind of strains at his collar, saying that it's hot in there. Marin says that it must be al the people, and that she misses crowds, "well-dressed, fashionable crowds!" Glancing around, she notices a smoking porch, and hurries to it, Jack in tow.

Men In Trees

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