Men In Trees
The Menaissance

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Patrick Has Two Mommies

Chieftain. A couple of overly done-up chippies, each clutching Marin's New Yorker, geek up to the bar, asking if Jack really lives there. Ben, nonplussed, points him out, sitting right beside them, and as the gals give him a predatory stare, Jack politely asks if he knows them. They introduce themselves: the blonde one's Cheryl, and the brunette's Meryl. They wave off a joke about their rhyming names before anyone cares to make one, and explain that they're from New York (as if we couldn't tell as soon as they opened their mouths and the Massapequa phone book fell out); they came up on a cruise. Meryl says, "We just read your article." Jack thinks they read his journal article, and Cheryl's like, "So cute!" They explain that Marin wrote the article, about him. Jack's face falls. Meryl says that they know Jack isn't "Mr. Chatty Cathy," but that they'd like to buy him a drink. Jack, shutting down, says that he isn't interested, and Meryl sagely nods: "Because of Lynn." "What?" asks Jack sharply. Cheryl: "We know. You're wounded." "Tattoo," whispers Meryl, tapping her arm. Without a word, Jack gathers his things and stomps out, slamming the door on his way. Meryl and Cheryl at least get a look at his ass before he's gone, so the trip wasn't a total waste.

After the credits, Marin bustles into Jack's/Celia's, asking Annie whether Jack's there. Annie says he isn't, and that she'll be closing up early because now Patrick has a stepmom Annie has to impress: "When will it end?" Marin pays the tokenest of token attention to Annie's situation until Annie can bring the subject back around to Marin, whereupon she tells Annie about The New Yorker. Annie hugs her, saying that it's huge, and Marin says that she wanted to tell Jack about it, so Annie should tell him if she sees him. Annie notices the shell on Marin's wrist, identifying the species by name, and when Marin cracks on her for knowing something Marin doesn't, Annie explains that she just read Jack's article in Shellfish Monthly. Marin asks to borrow the issue, and books. Annie's like, "Oh, that's fine -- I'm done talking about my relationship with Patrick and his new family, go ahead." Or, she should. In actuality, she's apparently fine being in a one-way friendship with Marin.

Chieftain, at night. Jane and Marin toast to guess who. Marin excitedly says that this might be the greatest thing that's ever happened to her, and that it's all because of Jane. Tartly, Jane replies that if Marin can hook her up with one of the real men she wrote about, they can call it even. Marin laughs her off, but Jane says she's serious, and hasn't had a date in a while. Jerome, totally eavesdropping, offers himself: "Might have some mileage on me, but the engine's still good." Jane tightly says that she doesn't drive, but turning around at least puts her in the eyeline of Sam (Ty Olsson), a.k.a. Plow Guy, who waves shyly. Marin and Jane are just agreeing that he's "so cute" when up roll Cheryl and Meryl, New Yorkers in hand. They say that they just read Marin's article, and Jane gasps, "See? People are loving it!" The girls introduce themselves and say that they brought the magazine to read on their singles cruise, The S.S. Mantasy. "Ironic, because there were no men to see -- well, no real men," says Meryl. So they took a detour to Elmo. Meryl enthuses that there are so many men there, she thinks she just ovulated. Jane chokes on her martini at the thought of what might be going on in Meryl's fallopian tubes. Cheryl hands over her issue for Marin to sign, and as she fumbles for a pen, Marin says she can't believe they came all that way to see her. Cheryl says that they actually came to see Jack, and Meryl coos that he's even better-looking than they thought he'd be. Marin's like, "Jigga-what?" She can't believe they met Jack. Cheryl agrees with Marin's assessment: "Not a talker." Marin, flustered, says that this is happening backwards, and gets up, telling Jane she needs to go talk to Jack. Cheryl tries to call her back for an autograph. Girl, please -- you know the autograph you really want comes from a hand a lot hairier than Marin's.

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Men In Trees

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