In the Binder bathroom, Mickey is brushing his teeth while Donna is sitting on the toilet. You know, nothing says "trying too hard to be edgy" like female urination. Well, except for incorporating anal sex, that is. Gosh, I sure hope they don't decide to go there. Donna divulges that she wants to have a second child, but Mickey would prefer to wait until the first one is old enough to change diapers. The big joke in this scene is that Donna pees for a really long time. I know. It wasn't any funnier on the show, either.
Back in the office, Missy asks Mickey (at least it aids my alliteration addiction) why he's so distracted. When he mentions trouble with the wife, Missy is quick to ask, "What'd she do, bust you with some porn?" I'm guessing there's a "from the mouth of a babe" joke in there somewhere, and I'd also bet that it'd be a damn sight more tasteful than the one that's sure to show up on this show eventually. Mickey, of course, freaks out and wonders if Jake or Doug told her to ask him that. Then he claims that she didn't actually bust him with pornography, but instead merely found some "naked pictures of college girls" that a friend e-mailed to him. Missy giggles and teases that he should just admit "that it's [his] porn, and that [he's] a dirty pervert." Yeah. Okay. I was already having a hard time believing that a girl like this would want anything to do with a guy like that, but the idea that this woman would instantly approve of her brand new boss's choice in masturbation materials is too ludicrous to even consider. Who writes this stuff? Oh, wait. That explains it.
Albert Einstein: Congratulations, Mr. Binder.
Mike Binder: What for?
Albert Einstein: Your show iz making us question ze very fabric of ze universe. Ziz iz because it vas thought only a black hole could suck up enough talent to make characters be actually zero dimensional. If iz possible to do zis on a zitcom, zen everything we know iz wrong.
Mike Binder: Wow. I mean, I knew the show was good and all, but who knew I was universe-changing good?
Albert Einstein: Ahh. I think now I zee where ze gravity comes from.
Mike Binder: Does this mean I'm like a god, or something?
Albert Einstein: You zee, F equals E times LoA squared. That iz, Forehead Size equals Ego times Level of Annoyance squared. Frankly, between you and zat Van Der Beek boy, I'm surprized your heads haven't ripped apart ze space-time continum.
Mike Binder: Yeah. Whatever. Hey, do you think sex would last longer than normal time if you could do it faster than the speed of light?













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