The boys once again gather in the neighborhood pub they seem to frequent, and this time Doug is whining about not getting the column. It seems he was passed over because he has to spend too much time picking up his kids from soccer and whatnot. Or whatever. Take your pick. We know Doug is really angry, because he tells us he's "good and fucking angry." The swear word means he's serious. Get it? Meanwhile, Jake is putting the moves on a woman down at the end of the bar, and Mickey and Doug look on in wistful envy. Jake's apparent modus operandi is to be completely upfront and honest, and he shows the woman pictures of his wife and kids while explaining that sometimes he just "likes to play." Mickey and Doug debate whether or not he's actually being honest, or merely "factual." It's just as exciting as it sounds. This scene also includes a brief montage of Mickey imagining himself falling in love with yet another far-fetchedly fetching young woman. What's even more disturbing than the evident ego-gratification in all of this is the bizarre top hat Mike Binder is wearing in these shots. He looks like a cross between Paul Simon and a drag queen doing Abraham Lincoln. I didn't bother checking the credits, but it's probably safe to assume that Binder is handling the costuming duties on this one as well. Doug steers the conversation back to the "A" plot, and reminds Mickey that he's "better off with [his] wife" than anyone else. Then he suggests that Mickey make up with her by cooking dinner, drawing her a bath filled with rose petals, and spending the evening rubbing her feet. Incidentally, for all of you out there who dream of one day ascending to the glorious role of recapper yourself, you should know that Sars is generally very receptive to that sort of thing. I mean, it's not like she hired me for my punctuality. ["Nobody on the staff makes a better pesto." -- Sars]
And now for the touching reconciliation scene. Yes, it is safe to assume that "touching" was a double entendre. Mickey comes home with a big bag full of supplies, and immediately begins to beg Donna's forgiveness. She's more interested in knowing why he fired and then re-hired his secretary, however, lest we not realize her suspicions will be a recurring plot point this season. Mickey claims to have had a revelation which has led him to conclude that he does, in fact, love his wife. He then starts showing off the dinner, the rose petals, and some "scented shit," but Donna thinks the whole foot-rubbing idea is just "awful." "I know," replies Mickey. "We should just take [Doug and his wife] somewhere and shoot them as a favor." Donna, however, has other ideas, and suggests that they head to the bedroom for a few hours hot, sexy monkey-love. "I can’t do this on demand," whines Mickey by way of setting up the obligatory ironic HBO meta-comment. "What am I, a cable channel?" Yes. Yes, you are. Well, at least for the next ten weeks you are. Although, in fairness, this show is really no worse than Arli$$, and that's been on since like 1973.