Another Walk & Talk. This time, Doug whines about his money problems again. Mickey suggests finding Karin a job, but Doug insists that she remain a housewife. Instead, he suggests putting her on a strict allowance, which would permit her to buy only food and toiletries for sixty days. "You're putting your wife in lockdown?" asks Mickey. "Isn't that when the prisoners always riot?" I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually think I'd rather be recapping Oz. It is, after all, also in my time-slot.
At The Office Where No One Ever Works, Jake and the NBF (it's sort of like Prince and The New Power Generation, only different) banter about NBF's Jim Harbaugh interview, which he only landed because he took the guy to a strip club. Oh please. Jim Harbaugh is so washed up he'd give an interview to anyone who put a nickel in his cup of pencils. Plus he hasn't played for Chicago since 1993. Nice research, Mike. NBF pontificates thusly: "You know, there's something about a fine ass that makes men talk. It's like male bonding. Bonding with the ass." No additional commentary from me is necessary on that one. Eileen approaches and acts nervous and uncomfortable so we all know she's not really over Jake yet. Hmm. Could that be Foreshadowing I see o'er yonder, waving his giant runway landing lights and jumping up and down? Could be. Anyway, Eileen returns to her own desk, boots up her PC, and types in the following: "Jake is an asshole. Jake is a worm. Jake is a blight on humanity. I love Jake. I want to fuck Jake's eyes out and then I want to knock him out cold and feed his dick to fish." Yeah. I'm not making that up. Damn you, pause button! Damn you to hell! Incidentally, this is where I wanted to put that "Cipro" joke.
Staff meeting. Ew. That wasn't a pun, people. Memmet is handing out story assignments, including a triple homicide which generates a great deal of interest until the staff learns it was in a housing project. Good God, man. I've seen Andrew Dice Clay performances that had more class and less overt racism than this crap. "I'm touched by your compassion and bravery," growls Memmet, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that Binder felt compelled to include this portion of the scene in the first place. Man, what an asshole. Mickey clowns around a bit (in a not-funny/crying-on-the-inside-clown kind of way), and immediately looks over at Missy to see if she's laughing at his jokes. For the record, Binder doesn't even try to provide justification as to why Missy is the only secretary in the room, thus exposing everything that follows as a poorly-designed plot point. While Memmet drones on about another reporter and his hemorrhoid (actual sample dialogue: "It's big and it hurts. I've named it Randall"), Mickey wads up his paper coffee cup and tosses it at Missy. In our Pratfall Of The Week, he misses and hits some old lady instead. There's some non-funny, non-physical comedy where he tries to convince her to throw the cup back at him, and the bit ends with Missy holding up a double-underlined note that reads, "U R a nut!" I'm quite frankly surprised that Binder didn't have someone in the art department add a bunch pink hearts and "Mrs. Missy Barnes" doodles to the thing. Nothing else funny (or offensive) happens here, so let's move on.