Staff meeting. Ew. That wasn't a pun, people. Memmet is handing out story assignments, including a triple homicide which generates a great deal of interest until the staff learns it was in a housing project. Good God, man. I've seen Andrew Dice Clay performances that had more class and less overt racism than this crap. "I'm touched by your compassion and bravery," growls Memmet, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that Binder felt compelled to include this portion of the scene in the first place. Man, what an asshole. Mickey clowns around a bit (in a not-funny/crying-on-the-inside-clown kind of way), and immediately looks over at Missy to see if she's laughing at his jokes. For the record, Binder doesn't even try to provide justification as to why Missy is the only secretary in the room, thus exposing everything that follows as a poorly-designed plot point. While Memmet drones on about another reporter and his hemorrhoid (actual sample dialogue: "It's big and it hurts. I've named it Randall"), Mickey wads up his paper coffee cup and tosses it at Missy. In our Pratfall Of The Week, he misses and hits some old lady instead. There's some non-funny, non-physical comedy where he tries to convince her to throw the cup back at him, and the bit ends with Missy holding up a double-underlined note that reads, "U R a nut!" I'm quite frankly surprised that Binder didn't have someone in the art department add a bunch pink hearts and "Mrs. Missy Barnes" doodles to the thing. Nothing else funny (or offensive) happens here, so let's move on.
Or maybe we could just go back for a while. Yeah. Who else wants to keep talking about that last scene some more? Huh? What's that? Why am I stalling, you ask? Well, it's just that the next sixty seconds or so represent the second single most disgusting moment of my life. It's an extreme close-up of the back of Mike Binder's nappy head, as he, er, "talks to the kitty" (tm Regina). Eww. Ugh. Argh. Ack. Blech. You get the idea. First it's Donna that he's with, and then Missy, and then back to Donna again. You know what? Let's just take a moment here to consider what going to work each day must be like for Ivana Milisevic and Sonya Walger. How would you like to be handed a call sheet at 6:00 AM, only to discover that you'll be spending the better part of the day with Mike Binder's face planted squarely between your thighs? And that's while you have to pretend to enjoy it, by the way -- never mind the knowledge that millions of people will eventually bear witness to your shame. Actually, to be perfectly honest, the CGI is in these shots is so poor that it's pretty obvious the women weren't even in the same room with him. Can you really blame them?