Mind of the Married Man
The God Of Marriage

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Where he immediately encounters Donna, who forces him into the living room to watch more tapes. Reluctant at first, Mickey is delighted to discover that they're actually Three Stooges videos. Oh, dear Lord. For the record, I'd already guessed what was, er, coming, at this point, but in my defense, there's no way I could have imagined how bad things would actually get. Donna proceeds to give a brief history of Stooge lore, complete with repeated uses of the Repetitive Word Of The Week, "Shemp." She also makes it clear that she now gets the joke, which is that Shemp is not as funny as Curly. Oh. Well, that explains it, then. "Anything you can throw at me, I can handle," says Donna. "So if you want invent problems for this marriage, you're going to have to come up with better ones than this." Once again, I apply a heartily meta "I'll say."

So, yeah. Here's the big, uh, climax. The exact moment where Mike Binder's depraved, demeaning, disgusting, and depressing worldview finally crossed the line from being merely bad TV and moved squarely into the realm of the truly intolerable. Somehow feeling that her husband's amazingly annoying antics of these past few days deserve a reward, Donna drops to her knees and proceeds to provide Mickey with his ultimate male fantasy. Yep. That's right. The final one minute and twenty-three seconds of this show was one long, continuous shot of Sonya Walger's head bobbing in Mike Binder's lap. They ran the credits over it, for God's sake. And Binder's got this goofy-ass smile on his face the whole time that makes me despise him even more. At this point, mere words can no longer convey the depths of my hatred for this show. To truly do them justice, I'd need spreadsheets, bar charts, a CPU with a good floating-point processor, and like a nine-billion-inch monitor.

And finally, for those who care: The show's been moved to 10:30. It's now on after Curb Your Enthusiasm, a problem I doubt anyone will be having with regards to Mind of the Married Man.

I need a shower.

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Mind of the Married Man

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