So here's the deal. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, hates this show. I hate it. You hate it. Sars has never even seen it, and she hates it just on principle alone. Add that to the fact that virtually no one is posting in the forums (and those who do seem more concerned with my love life than with the show), no one is reading the recaps (except for you. Hi, you!), and the mailing list is holding steady at about twelve (three of which are me and my various e-mail addresses). So, from a purely demographic standpoint, it doesn't make much sense to continue recapping this crap. But, because I'm a nice guy (read: incredibly masochistic and desperate for your love), I've decided to give you this one last chance to save your MoMMy. You can express your opinion in the utterly non-binding poll to your right, but the real test will be how many people sign up for the mailing list. If we don't get at least a hundred between now and next week, this will be the last MoMM recap you ever read. Yeah. I know. You're crying a river. But don't despair, I'm sure we can find something for me to recap before Six Feet Under's spring second season. In fact, right about now I bet you're wishing First & Ten was out on DVD, aren't you? Don't we all.

Also, as an added treat, this week's recap will be interspersed with a few quotes from HBO's live fan chat with Mike Binder. Here's a sample of some of the hard-hitting, no-holds-barred, investigative questions and comments you can expect to be reading answers to:

"Mr. Binder, your show is great because it's so innovative and honest. It is very unique to find a show so sincere on television today."

I swear to God I'm not making this stuff up. It's right there on their website. Something tells me Binder and bin Laden may well be using the same publicist.

No walk & talk this week, as we join a party already in progress at the Binder house. The Dorky Discussion Du Jour involves the fact that Carol and Doug enjoy deer hunting. Donna can't believe that her friend would want to shoot Bambi, but Carol explains that calling deer "innocent" is just "propaganda put out by those animal rights people." You know, kinda like calling Mike Binder "sincere," "innovative," or "honest." Mickey describes the deer as being "murdering, thieving, drug-addicted deer who deserve to be shot." You know, kinda like how I describe Mike Binder. Anyway, it's worth noting that the guest list includes not just Doug and Carol, but also Jake and his wife and the NBF and his NBG (New Black Girlfriend). Jake's wife, incidentally, is played by Brigitte Bako, whom some of you may remember fondly as the hooker who gets raped and murdered in Strange Days. I, however, will always remember her fondly as the adulterous wife who gets raped and commits suicide in the very first episode of Red Shoe Diaries. What? Stop looking at me like that. I was fourteen when that show premiered. I mean, we've all forgiven Duchovny by now, so why not me too?