The Daily Mirror. Memmet is whining about how he's just "an old city desk guy" and how he doesn't understand why anyone would want to read a column about this newfangled "internet" thingy the kids seem all hyped up about. To be fair, I can certainly understand why people associated with MoMM wouldn't want to read this particular internet column, but my advice to them would be to stop whining and just call their agents. After all, you've only got a few weeks left until the inevitable cancellation, and you've already been dumped to that treacherous 10:30 timeslot previously reserved for such televisual gems as Arli$$, Real Sex Nine Billion, and G-String Divas. I mean, your future's so bright, you can forget about the shades and just go with one of those mining helmets with the lamp on top. Meanwhile, Jake receives an e-mail calling him, yep, you guessed it, "a piece of shit." This is rapidly followed by another informing him that he's "a piece of shit, cockhead." I threw that second one in because it's not very often that you get a chance to use the word "cockhead" in a recap, and besides, what are they gonna do to me, stop covering the show on MBTV? Yeah, I wish. Anyway, Memmet delivers a few more meta moments, and we get a nice, long, lingering shot of Eileen The Oversexed Entertainment Editor to make sure we all know who sent the e-mails. Except, of course, for the fact that she was sitting in Memmet's office the whole time, and couldn't possibly have sent them.

Mike Binder, on why people watch: "Probably the same reason that people watch car races. They are hoping for a wreck."

Now it's time for the walk & talk, only this time there's a twist. It's Donna and Carol, strutting down the sidewalk, swinging their stuffed-full shopping bags. This whole scene is based around the shocking, newly-discovered premise that men don't like to shop. Wow. I had no idea. Donna suggests that Mickey considers shopping to be roughly the equivalent of a trip to a "castration hall." Okay, first off, that's not a half-bad idea, at least as far as the future of the human race is concerned. Secondly, however, what the hell is a "castration hall"? Seriously. That's not the sort of place I want to wander into by accident. There's more "humor" about guys shopping with their wives, including an especially "witty" and "insightful" bit featuring Mickey holding a purse, and then Carol advances the "plot" a bit more by reminding Donna that shopping is a great way to spend time with the spouse.