Cut to an extended (and I do mean extended -- sixty-seconds plus) montage of Mike Binder standing out in front of last week's massage parlor, trying to decide whether or not to go inside. I'd have to assume that's exactly the sort of suspicious behavior people are supposed to be watching out for these days, but unfortunately, no one calls the FBI on him. Anyway, he goes inside, and once again gets a naked (and yet still wisely metaphysical) Sashiko to perform his massage. "You tense today," she tells him. "Hard. Like rubbing back of dump truck or something." She makes, however, no reference to the back-acne. Thank God for small favors, I guess. Mickey blathers about the problem of the week, which is that he doesn't really enjoy spending time with his wife. I guess this is supposed to be an equivalent dramatic device to Tony's sessions with Melfi, or the Fishers' conversations with The Late Nate, but somehow it all just seems cheap and tawdry, rather than dramatic. I wonder why? And then, with an extreme close-up of one of Sashiko's inordinately pointy nipples threatening to scratch the camera's lens, Mickey declines another opportunity for a "happy ending." Well, I guess that answers that question.
Cut to a gun shop, where Mickey wants to buy some rifles to go hunting with Donna. In a continuation of our "Recycled Comedy 101" theme this week, the joke in this scene is that the clerk thinks Mickey really wants to kill his wife. "Okay, can I be honest?" Mickey says. "I'm just looking to quiet my wife down. I don't care what kind of rifles you give me. I just want to take her into the woods, and I don't want to get all muddy. I want to get in, and get the hell out and go home." I'll take a brief pause here to allow you to recover from your peals of hysterical laughter. I mean, what will this guy think of next?
Mike Binder, on not learning from his own mistakes: "Train your mind to think quick, be facile. Just being in front of an audience every night really will teach you what is and isn't funny, and how it pertains to your performance."
At the Binder family apartment, Mickey has returned home with a pair of rifles. Donna, however, has absolutely no desire to go hunting, and after working in the RWoW (she calls the whole idea "bullshit"), she instructs him to get the guns out of the house. There's more arguing and screaming, but I'm too bored to really care. Can you tell how enthusiastic I am about this show? Yeah, that's what I thought. At one point in the argument, Mickey declares that in his next life, he's "coming back as a husband who takes a lot less shit." See? Look at that. The only thing I care about anymore is counting the RWoWs. When Donna suggests that instead he come back "smarter," Mickey counters with "If I come back smarter, I'm not so sure I'm getting married again." We get a DEK moment of Mickey sleeping on the sofa, and then he apologizes.