The Bone Scatterer

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
He ain't evil, he's my brother

So the SQ crew drive into Red Deer with its "Home of Big Foot" sign at the city limits. And Evelyn gets off her Cell Phone Of Exposition to tell the other two that there's been another murder, like, maybe Evelyn should be driving so that Skeet and Keel can play Travel Yahtzee or something. And she explains about the minister, and says that Mr. Bass was a local Scoutmaster while Miss Jansen was the high school nurse, and the sheriff's at the high school now. Keel suggests they start there; they should "present [their] credentials" and "try not to ruffle any local feathers" while Skeet's all, "Dude, what credentials? Seriously, we have no credentials!" while Keel just gives him a look. Those two always fight on vacation!

So at the high school, a bunch of wrestlers are wasting valuable basketball court space by sublimating their latent homosexual urges into a more socially endorsed manner. And Skeet catches the eye of one particularly weaselly kid, who then gets soundly thrashed by a bigger, louder, more aggressive dude who then starts screaming about it in the manner of a teen movie high school jock who always gets his comeuppance by the time the credits roll. And the gang meets up with the sheriff, who looks at the SQ card Keel hands him like it's supposed to mean something, and the sheriff can't pronounce Sodalitas Quaerito so Keel does it for him, and we've heard the words "Sodalitas Quaerito" more times in the first ten minutes of this episode then we have in the entire series up to this point. And when Keel explains that SQ investigates unusual occurrences, the sheriff gives the "Bigfoot hunters" a thanks but no thanks. So Evelyn steps in a compliments the sheriff for showing up to practice to indicate that "life goes on," because yeah, everything's back to normal, the SHERIFF IS AT WRESTLING PRACTICE, and instead of giving her a "whatever" for her Lifetime-channel analysis of the situation, the sheriff says "you a cop?" like, yeah, I'm sure he would have guessed that. And Evelyn says, "I was," and suddenly she's all buddy-buddy with the sheriff and says, "I'm with these guys now. They're all right," like, SHUT UP, EVELYN. So then she's asking if the victims had anything in common, and the cop says they were just all local, and "good people," like, here we go again with Hollywood portrayal of small-town life as idyllic with "just folks" livin' their lives and not minding working hard for a livin' and just as honest as the trees are tall. And Evelyn says that SQ will stay out of their hair, as if the cop couldn't just order them to do so, and the sheriff thinks their presence might actually help. Sure he thinks that. A bunch of strangers looking for unexplained phenomena in the deaths of three residents. That'll go over big-time. Anyway, the cop goes away to show how much life goes on elsewhere. "Who says we don't have credentials?" says Keel to Skeet, while Evelyn has this bemused expression like she's really getting tired of just being eye candy.

Heading out to the station wagon, the SQ gang finds a note tucked under the windshield wiper. It's from the guy who called them, like, I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE, and he's surprised they actually showed up, and he says he'll be at the downtown library for an hour. And also, free breadsticks at Domino's! "It's a start," says Keel, like, no, the guy told you exactly where to meet him. It's not a cryptic clue, Keel, so quit making your Serious Face. Evelyn asks to be taken to the morgue so she can Scully things up a little.

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