Miracles
You Are My Sunshine

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Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine. Literally.

And now they're dead. I guess. The water killed them, I suppose, because they're now two dead bodies and the redhead is dragging them downstairs. Maybe there was a struggle that we didn't get to see, because she's been injured, a bloody wound over one eye. Somehow this wee thing stuffs the two bodies into the coal chamber or whatever and seals up the passageway.

Back in the present day, Rebecca's rather far away from Skeet and Evelyn, when Evelyn notices her and shrieks, instead of doing ANYTHING ELSE. Fortunately, Keel's on his way back from taking a whiz or wherever it was that he went, and he tackles Rebecca. The oil splashes onto the stove, igniting an instant four-alarm fire, and everybody hustles outside to watch it burn. Crazy whispers over the soundtrack, with the sounds of a door creaking. No! The rocking chair burns up! The photo albums burn up! My cool Scarface poster goes up! Heh. No, my Scarface poster would not burn, because that's the first thing I'd save. Um, assuming my girlfriend was safe and sound, that is.

The next day, Skeet and Rebecca sit in her truck and reminisce about all the fun times they just had. Skeet asks what she's going to tell her sister. "That my ex-boyfriend became possessed and tried to kill me," says Rebecca. Is there a Haagen-Dazs flavour a sister can whip out to make that all better? Rebecca says she might have to start believing in therapy, "among other things," and Skeet says that if even one person starts believing in miracles after he goes psycho and locks her in the basement, it was all worth it. Rebecca says he's lucky, since his friends came all the way up here and risked their lives for him. Then she does some "what if we met for the very first time, would things be different" speculation that frankly seems a little silly once you've tried to douse a guy in hot oil. Skeet just says, "I'd like to think so." He gets out of the truck, and Rebecca says, "I really did love you," and drives off, forcing Skeet to brood in the direction of her taillights.

Back in Boston, Skeet strolls into the office and says he needs to talk to Evelyn and Keel. "What I did was unforgivable. I wish I could say that I don't remember any of it. I wish I could it wasn't me back there, but --" and Evelyn cuts him off with, "It wasn't," and Keel adds, "Not entirely." Skeet says he understands if they don't want him to continue working there, but they won't hear of it. After all, it could have been worse, says Keel, and Evelyn agrees, before catching herself and wondering exactly how it could have been worse. "We could all be dead," says Keel. There must be something liberating in working for someone who's happy with your work so long as you don't wind up killing everybody. Keel then goes on to say that it's encouraging that the house allowed Skeet access to the "darkest corners" of his soul, and Skeet still didn't have it in him to kill someone. Wouldn't you say that had more to do with them fighting back than Skeet holding back? I know I would. Anyway, welcome back to work, Skeet, from the most forgiving co-workers ever. I know I feel like going postal when somebody uses the office break room microwave to make stinky popcorn. And then they start joking about the whole thing, like, Skeet says, "Maybe I just don't have it in me to kill you," and Evelyn says, "I told you not to sleep with her," and they're all laughing, and I thought it would be funny if they freeze-framed on the laugh and then played some wacky Riptide or Simon & Simon-esque music while the credits rolled. But we're done. And we didn't even really see a Skeet Face!

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Miracles

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