Miss Match

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 481 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
He's just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope

Cut to the Love Addicts meeting, a surprisingly packed L.A.L.A.A. meeting, Kate sitting in the back, with a woman named Renee up at the front recounting how, when she was a newcomer to these meetings, she'd take guys into the bathroom afterwards. And I think if you're supposed to be getting better, you probably don't want to sound as gleeful as Renee does here as she tells her story. "I'm the reason we kept losing our bathroom privileges. Sorry about that! I couldn't control myself knowing all you men were love addicts like me. It was dark, and public spaces make me hot." It's when she mentions the "crotchless panties" -- no word of a lie -- the moderator or facilitator or activities director or whatever the hell he is reins her in. He asks the crowd if anybody else needs to "get current" before they focus on steps. A young guy with scruffy hair and a beard gets up and shuffles to the front. Kate's shocked when he turns around and she sees it's Jared. So shocked, she doesn't even say, "Hi, Jared!" like everybody else does when Jared introduces himself. She's much too shocked. You know, perhaps sending a client on a date with a random stranger she'd talked to for all of about two minutes wasn't such a good idea. Commercials.

We get to see Fox Daddy's house for the first time. It's right on the beach, making me question again why I didn't go to law school. He's working away on his laptop when the doorbell rings. It's Sandy. "What took you so long?" he asks. "I'm worth the wait," she says, which I might mention doesn't answer the question. "I'll be the judge of that," he says, like WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING, CAN WE SPEED IT UP, PLEASE. "Shall we go to work then?" he says. "Yes. Let's start billing," she says, which turns the both of them on so much that they start making out right there.

Back at L.A.L.A.A., Jared is explaining that he believes in love at first sight, seeing as how he's experienced it about twenty times himself. He's proposed five times and actually been engaged twice -- both times he's called it off at the last second. Kate goes on and on making her Shocked Face. "It's been seven months since my last relationship," and everyone dutifully claps, and the director or whatever gets a seven-month pin for Jared. Save it, says Jared. "I met someone. But this time it's different. She's like an ice pick" -- Kate cranks the Shocked Face up to 11 -- "that broke the frozen sea inside me." "That's what you say every time, Jared," says the disappointed Pin Dude. "Is it really? I mean, not every time?" says Jared. "Every time," says Pin Dude, dramatically dropping the pin back in the box. Maybe, since this is a support group, this guy should be acting more supportive instead of disappointed here. I'm just sayin'. Then we get a weird shot of some weird guy with long hair and a chin beard crowding Kate as he cranes his neck to get a better view of the sad human drama unfolding up there.

Miss Match

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