Miss Match
Addicted To Love

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He's just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope

Nicole "That Chick From Mad TV" Sullivan is sitting in the reception room at Jerrold Fox and Associates, nervously tapping her foot and chewing her fingernails. Claire acts like she's never seen a nervous person before. That is to say, she's staring at Nicole quite obviously and sighing heavily, at least until she gets a panicked look on her face and bolts from her desk, just like you would if you were going to throw up. How does Claire even have a job? She seeks out Kate to ask her if she remembers the matchmaker "gift certificate" some woman bought for her "failure friend," like, now Kate has gift certificates all of a sudden, I guess, and Kate is all, don't call them failures! And also, don't ask really phony-sounding questions solely for the purpose of passing on information to the audience! So Claire calls the "failure friend" a "desperado" instead, and makes a wisecrack about the desperado being about to chew her own hand off. Kate's all, oh no! Well, I'll meet with her after I meet this ACTUAL CLIENT at my dad's law firm where I have a real job, okay? But if you have any more wisecracks to fire off in lieu of behaving like an actual receptionist, you come and see me, okay?

Nick and Kate meet this woman whining about how her husband hates her hair, her voice, and her cooking. "How can he hate my cooking? My cooking's the best thing about me!" Nick, who once in a while should try to pretend like he doesn't actually hate his clients, asks "Ms. Baxter" if she did her husband's laundry too, and Ms. Baxter nods. Good news, says Nick. "You don't have to do his laundry anymore, because we're going to take him to the cleaners," he says. Kate takes a break from making her typical Sad Face to roll her eyes at Nick's stupid joke. Then she asks Ms. Baxter how much money her husband made while they were married. "He was unemployed," says Ms. Baxter. Nick's all, remember my stupid joke about the cleaners? It may have been a bit premature. Ms. Baxter tells them that her husband sold a computer program for ten million dollars after they separated, and Nick ponders how cool that is, before telling her she can't touch it, since he sold it after they were separated, so it's considered his personal property. Baxter's upset that she devoted herself to her computer geek husband and now she has nothing, while he has everything. Fortunately, Kate actually asks her questions to find out the circumstances of the separation, unlike Nick, who's more concerned with making smart remarks. Turns out Mr. Baxter wrote the computer program while they were married, so bingo dingo dango, it's community property again! Ms. Baxter, you're going to get five million dollars! Can't give you your youth back, though, I'm afraid. Then Claire just kind of MATERIALIZES to say to Kate, "You've got a runner." So Kate dumps off the paperwork on Nick (who looks less than pleased about it) and zips off.

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Miss Match

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