Miss Match
Addicted To Love

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Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
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He's just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope

Amy's concluding her lecture with something about the average sculpted phallus being 43 pounds of solid marble, so you can no longer say that size doesn't matter, and I'm betting, based on that lame closing joke, that this so-called "lecture" likely had about zero academic value, but the line gets a good laugh and applause from the crowd, and Michael announces that he's going to be self-conscious for about a week.

Amy finds her way over. Michael greets her as "A.J." and she calls him "M.M." and they start just sucking face, which I can't ever remember any of my university profs doing right after their lectures, whether indoors or outdoors or open to the public or not. Kate and Victoria look on, absolutely delighted (yes, even Kate looks pleased). She says hi to Amy, as A.J. and M.M. come up for air long enough for Michael to help Amy on with her coat. She happily thanks Kate and Victoria for coming, which she didn't know they were going to do. "You were awesome," says Victoria, and Michael agrees, and Amy's all, "You're awesome," to Michael, and they start doing it again. Victoria's still amazed; Kate's starting to look a little more concerned this time. After A.J. and M.M. finally come up for air again, Kate invites the happy couple to join them for a bite to eat, but the two make excuses (clearly made up) about having to meet some friends, and screw off to…well, you get the idea. Kate's wondering if Victoria got some kind of "vibe" off Amy, but Victoria says the only vibe she got was that Amy just wanted to be alone with Michael. Kate picks a Palm Pilot up off one of the chairs, which doesn't belong to Victoria, but was where Amy had happened to have her purse. Kate whines about first having the watch the PDA (as in "public displays of affection") and now having to return one (as in "personal data assistant"), which was a pretty quick quip. Victoria suggests that she can use the PDA to spy on M.M. and A.J., since she'll know exactly where they are at all times. Kate says she would never dream of doing such a thing, so you she's totally going to.

And sure enough, here's Kate, staring at the PDA sitting on her desk the next day. Fox Daddy pokes his head in her office to tell her that he's joining them on the Baxter case. Kate wants to know why, since it's under control. Jerrold says the new opposing counsel is a "snake," a "take-no-prisoners son of a bitch" and "one of the best trial lawyers in the business." And, almost as an afterthought, he adds that it's also one of his ex-girlfriends. Kate rolls her eyes, but really, you'd think, the way they characterize Jerrold, that Kate should have known what the odds of that actually were. She follows him out of her office and says it's fine, as long as he tells her "it's not that Sandy woman from when [she] was twelve." "It's that Sandy woman from when you were twelve," confirms Jerrold. D'oh! "Daaaad!" whines Kate, which Jerrold says is just what it sounded like when she was twelve. "It was my first serious relationship after your mother and you made it impossible for me!" he says. Um, did he just blame a twelve-year-old for a failed relationship? Kate counters with, "You couldn't even see straight, you were so gaga, but even at twelve I could recognize evil." Heh. When I was twelve, evil was Rick Astley, since the girl I had a crush on loved him. Him and River Phoenix. A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon, my ass. Kate says Sandy never let her speak, was always interrupting her, and was completely condescending.

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Miss Match

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