In the office, Ramon has apparently paid another booty call on the post-production woman, since he's got Episodes Two and Three, with Four through Six coming up. Kate says he works fast, and Ramon says that expediency is his business, or some such. Meanwhile, Claire yells through the office that Chuck Webb of Chuck Webb Production is on the phone, like, nice office demeanour, and Kate wants to know from Ramon if Webb knows about the episodes he's, um, earned. "No way!" says an indignant Ramon, who follows Kate into her office just so she can say thanks and wave goodbye. She picks up the phone, and Chuck Webb is played by the guy who was Mad Dog or Bulldog or whatever on Frasier. And despite the fact that he's wearing a headset telephone, he's screaming at the top of his lungs -- not in an angry way, but in the stereotypical vigorous way of television executives who don't have time for quiet. He wants to do lunch; Kate puts him on hold for a second or two, and Bulldog starts yelling, "What? What am I holding?" like, SHUT UP FOR A SECOND, and Fox Daddy has come in to break the good news that they're getting interview requests from all over about Honeymoon Hotel, and he's thrilled that Chuck Webb wants to do lunch, and forgive me for thinking that if Miss Fisher wanted to avoid the publicity this show would likely generate, maybe the law firm should shy away from doing as many interviews as humanly possible.
So lunch consists of sushi at Chuck Webb's desk, because he's so busy he can't leave the office, you see, and he tells her to call him Chuck, and Kate for once on this show is all business. Chuck says what he cares about is Honeymoon Hotel airing next month; what he doesn't care about is Mia and Freddy Fisher. Kate points out that Mia and Freddy Fisher are getting a divorce because of his show. "No one forced Freddy to lick that girl's armpit," is Chuck's response. Kate points out that they weren't aware of the show's setup and all the cameras, and cites penal code; Chuck says it wouldn't have been any fun if the Fishers knew everything, and cites the release form they signed. "Which left out one essential detail," says Kate. Chuck insists that Mia knew what she was getting into, that she just wanted to "shake her ass" and get a house without paying for it, and I think I'm going to have to agree with him on this. "That's the American dream, and that's entertainment," he says. Kate says the Romans said the same thing while watching the lions at the Colosseum, which Chuck says would make a great show but would never get past the censors. He asks what Kate cares about; she says Mia Fisher, and wants Mia edited out of the show. Chuck says that ain't gonna happen, but he will give her another Hummer. Fortunately, Nick isn't here to spew sushi across the desk. He also offers to get Mia an agent, and rambles on at length about how he hates spending money on lawyers, who'd bill him $600 for lunch. Which reminds him: you've got to try the shiitake avocado rolls! Kate wryly tells him that not everyone is for sale, but she smiles and hoovers down the sushi anyway. "You know, if I ever need a prenup or a divorce, I will give you a call. You're ruthless! We're peas in a pod!" he yells. "I see no similarities," says Kate, who, not without humour, points out that she looks after her clients' best interests. Well, so does Chuck, you ninny; his clients just happen to be the networks, not Mia and Freddy Fame-Whore. "Well, at least I give out prizes!" he says, and as Kate leaves, he yell-thanks her for all the free publicity and says their ratings are going to soar. Well, sure, but your show offers armpit-licking. That's a license to print money!