Miss Match
Bad Judgment

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Daniel: D+ | Grade It Now!
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She's more attractive with the beard

In chambers, Judge Blake stomps past Kate all business and sits down at her desk. "You have a lovely courtroom demeanour, Miss Fox. That goes a long way," she says. Kate thanks her, and the judge continues to blather on about how she holds herself to high standards, and she expects others to do the same. Right back atcha, says Kate. Oh, and Judge Blake has reached a point in her career where she's started to think about her options, like getting married and having children. "Good for you!" squeals Kate. Kate does sound sincerely thrilled. "I also enjoy water sports, the opera, long walks on the beach, and travelling abroad." Kate's starting to look confused, but it might just be that she thinks the judge wants to leave her enjoyment of "water sports" out of any personals ad she places. When Kate doesn't say anything, the judge goes first. "What else do you need?" she says. "For what?" asks Kate. In a tone of voice that carries an underlying implication of "duh," Judge Blake says, "I want you to be my matchmaker!" "You do?" squeals Kate. Again, she seems genuinely thrilled, instead of, oh, I don't know, rather horrified at this gross breach of ethics. "I hear you're good, and I'm a bad-date magnet," says the judge, who goes on to explain that all she attracts are losers. Oh, and she's tried other dating services, and all they sent her were losers! Can you believe it? The judge says "losers" a few hundred more times as Kate makes a mental note that she shouldn't set clients up with losers. To Kate's credit, she starts to broach the whole unethical nature of this little proposition, but the judge tells her not to be such a "Girl Scout," so I'm not sure why we were subjected to the judge's "high standards" lecture just a moment ago. Then she rattles off what she's looking for: doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur, mid-six-figure income, has all his hair. No blonds. "I hate blonds. No offence," she says. Kate's taken aback. What else? Forty to forty-five years old, between five-ten and six-two, killer smile. "And of course, he has to be hot. Muscular, 160, 165," she says. At the risk of sounding indelicate, she's looking for someone half her size. "I'm free tomorrow night," finishes the judge. "And Kate? I will not compromise." The wacky music kicks in as the judge goes back to work and Kate stands there discombobulated for a second before turning to leave, starting to say something, then thinking better of it.

Instead, she sounds off to her dad back at the office. "That woman is out of her mind! She should recuse herself from the case," she says, and once again I'm struck at how naive Kate is for complaining about ethical breaches with her dad. That's like complaining to Tony Soprano about the schoolyard bully. Her dad says they can't give up Judge Blake, who gave them their TRO on a silver platter. But Kate says the woman's unreasonable, and she wants Kate to find her George Clooney. Fox Daddy points out that George Clooney is single. Hee. Still, Kate's worried that if she doesn't find someone good enough for Judge Blake, the judge will take it out on Kate in the courtroom. Kate says that if the judge won't recuse herself, Kate will have to recuse herself as matchmaker. "Well, you can't do that," says Fox Daddy. "Why not?" says Kate. Because "recuse" is a legal term that wouldn't apply to your little matchmaker hobby? Nah. Jerrold just says the number one rule of being a lawyer is "don't piss off the judge." Anyway, Fox Daddy comes up with a plan that, all other things being equal, really isn't that bad. He tells Kate to tell Judge Blake she'll be happy to set her up, but she's obligated to tell opposing counsel about the arrangement. Opposing counsel will go ballistic and won't allow it, whereupon the judge will blame him for screwing up her love life. Kate's quite agreeable to the plan

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Miss Match

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