Miss Match
Jive Turkey

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Gobble, gobble

Back at Casa Kate, she and Mama Fox are preparing for dinner. Mama Fox is just learning that they're having rather a mondo gathering, as Kate points out that Victoria and the musicologist cousin are also coming, along with Cancer Boy and B-Plot. "Four boys and four girls," Kate says contentedly. "Look at that, we can play spin the bottle," Mama Fox says sarcastically. Don't tempt your cheeseball daughter, Mama Fox. Just then, Mama figures out that Kate is making her sweet potatoes, and Kate defends herself by saying that Shatner is looking forward to them too much for them to be omitted. They determine that Kate has wrongly added cumin instead of nutmeg, but Mama Fox insists that Shatner won't know the difference, since he hasn't had her sweet potatoes since 1987, if you know what she means, and I think you do. They don't have any nutmeg to add, because they used it all up in the "eggnog popsicles." Ew. I don't like thinking about the fact that eggnog exists hardly at all, not to mention in popsicle form. This forces Kate on a quick market run, because not only do they need the nutmeg, but they also need creamer and more sponge cake. She's gotta hit the aisles, and fast! You know, this is almost like that Waitresses Christmas song. "A&P has provided me with the world's smallest turkey..." Hee, I love that song.

At the store, Kate is on her cell phone to Nick, who is on the hunt for Shatner and has just found him. And where is that crazy Shatner? Oh, he's on his knees digging for a quarter that fell under the slot machine. I'm not sure that's all that much worse than what's gone on in Ryan O'Neal's career in recent years, to be totally honest with you, but at least they've done a good job of capturing the feel of Vegas. Kate tells Nick to hurry up and get Shatner on a plane back to L.A. She hangs up on him, nutmeg in hand. I think nutmeg in this episode is a metaphor, but I'm not sure what for. Considering the level at which this show operates, it might be a metaphor for allspice.

When Kate gets home, she walks into her living room to find a Goth-looking girl, wearing the traditional feasting outfit of leather straps and studs, just as the pilgrims did. She's not just standing there -- she's pawing over Kate's CD collection. Oh, what fun. Kate, too busy with nutmeg and Shatner-worry to concern herself with random people in the living room, just sort of shrugs and breezes past into the kitchen, where she finds Mama Fox looking disapprovingly at a ceramic bowl. "Where can I find a bigger bowl?" Mama asks. "Crate and Barrel," Kate says, as snappily as she ever gets. Kate asks Victoria what's up with the Goth girl, and Kate says that's the dorky musicologist cousin. The doorbell rings, interrupting this discussion, and Kate is forced to run out into the living room and open the door. She swings open the door, and it is none other than a typically haggard-looking Cancer Boy, bearing an aggressively autumnal floral arrangement. He apologizes for showing up a little early, and she assures him it's fine -- he can come right in, because they've almost got things under control in the kitchen. Which is, you know, why you don't arrive early. But anyway. She motions him into the house with a wide, Alicia-riffic grin, and she starts to introduce him to Goth Girl. Kate suddenly realizes that she herself has not formally been introduced to this Princess of Darkness, so she takes care of that in a jiff. "I'm Kate," she says cheerily (is there any other way?). "Hey. Cool house," says Goth Girl flatly, before going back to reading one of Kate's CD inserts. "You have a burner?" Goth Girl asks. You know, it's never occurred to me to show up at someone's house and ask to start copying their music collection, but...I guess that's my age showing. Kate blows it off, saying she has no "burner" because of the "copyright issues." A totally strange, tossed-off little exchange that felt like it was supposed to have a joke in it, and didn't. Kate re-pastes the smile across her face and tells Cancer Boy that Goth Girl is getting her PhD in musicology. He tells her he's "something of an audiophile," and asks what her specialty is. "Polarization of Fringe Youth Cultures in 21st Century Rock, Rap, and Metal," she replies. Oh, yeah. I think I saw that dissertation reprinted in an issue of YM. Kate starts off toward the kitchen to escape Goth Girl's sucking vortex of pretentious bullshit, while Cancer Boy hangs around to...make conversation, presumably.

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Miss Match

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