Over at Nick and Connie's date, Nick is proving himself to be the perfect gentleman we always he knew he could pretend to be. He even passes her bread! Connie's pretty impressed, which makes me feel really sorry for Connie that she's wowed by Nick passing her the pumpernickel. You'd think she'd feel somewhat unnerved by Nick's really fugly sweater, which doesn't go well with Connie's nice evening dress. And I've figured out what it is about Nick's hair that bothers me; his hair looks like a grass hut in the South Pacific, and his sideburns are like the poles that hold up his hut hair. If it were a little slicker, he'd look even more like a less menacing Crispin Glover. Connie decides to be honest with Nick, and tells him she's involved with someone. Nick says he already knows, which relieves Connie, since he should understand how weird it is for her to be on a date like this, and even weirder that she's enjoying herself. "As am I," says Nick, who then decides to ask Connie exactly why she still is with Finch. He sounds genuinely curious, not opportunistic or anything. "You're young. You're beautiful. Your life should be filled with nights like this," he says. Connie tosses back the rest of her champagne, grabs Nick by the head, and, in the immortal words of Rudy Giuliani, gives him a five-second Frenchie. Commercials.
The next day, in the break room, Nick is opening up the conversation with some TMI by saying, "I want you to know, just for the record, I did not sleep with her." Kate's all, "That's a relief," and Nick has to make sure that she knows that he could have if he wanted to, so he deserves some "credit" for showing some "restraint." "Are you at all serious?" asks Kate, and Nick just laughs and blathers on about Connie being "untethered" and admits that maybe he laid it on just a little bit thick, mainly in order to prove to Kate that he can be a good date. But his sensitive-guy act may have bigger repercussions, because, Nick reminds Kate, you remember how Connie wasn't into the whole dating-other-people thing? "She's into it. Big-time," says Nick.
Finch, however, ain't so much into it anymore, which is hardly surprising, what with Victoria clearly being a complete fluke, and he tells Kate over lunch that he's ready to settle down with Connie. Kate thinks that's great: "I'm sure that, in time, Connie will come to the same conclusion," she says. Finch is all, whuh? What do you mean, "in time"? He asks if Connie's enjoying the dating thing. Kate plays dumb, but does allude to Connie holding up her end of the bargain. Finch looks suddenly upset at the possibility that he's turned his cute, sweet, loving girlfriend into a raging nymphomaniac. He demands to know who the guy is, but Kate won't tell him, and keeps offering reassurance that Connie will come around. "What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I should be seeing other people!" he says, which is what I thought he had been doing. "Everything's going to be okay. I believe that," she says. So he asks if she likes old cars, and Kate looks really disgusted and tells him that it's "not happening," which I'm sure will do wonders for Finch's mood.
I can't get over how boring Richard Kind's mattress storyline is. I think I'll recap it in haiku form.