Kate arrives (having unfortunately put clothes back on) to find a very calm, very collected Serena in the waiting room, who informs Kate that "it's still a girl," and the doctor says she's perfect, with ten fingers and ten toes. So Kate, having been inches away from getting laid for the first time on this series, inquires as politely as possible about the supposed complications, and Serena waves her hand and says the baby was coming out at a "weird angle" but everything's now okay. "So there was actually no emergency," says Kate all monotone, and Serena's response is that she didn't know that at the time. Still, had there been an emergency, I'm wondering just what Serena thought Kate was going to do? And Kate softens a bit when Serena turns on the charm and says, "It means so much to me that you're here." So Kate asks if Serena watched the delivery, and Charisma cracks me up with a well-placed, "Ew! No!" and explains how she made that mistake with her sister and can't get the memory out of her head, and the phrases "gelatinous head" and "dilated cervix" are in there somewhere, and that's quite enough of that. By this time, Kate has noticed the rather severe-looking woman sitting next to Serena, who introduces her as Gerta, the nanny, who Serena says has been doing this for twenty years, so by my estimation, Gerta started nannying when she was about 140 years old. Serena says (because Gerta isn't saying much of anything) that Gerta knows everything about newborns. Kate says hello, and Gerta ignores this. Serena advises Kate not to speak to her, as Gerta isn't quite as good with adults.
Over at the only bar, Bad Santa has shown up to stalk Victoria, and it turns out that it's Kerr Smith, otherwise known as Jack, The Gay Guy From Dawson's Creek. ["Well 'gay.'" -- Sars] When Victoria says, "What do you like," he says, "How about the bartender?" and she says, "Santa?" and he says "ho ho ho," which Victoria might take as an insult. And she says, "Wow," and let's hope she was referring to the fugly chin beard that Santa's sporting, and one of the mysteries of this show has to be male characters' fascinations with ridiculous facial hair, and Kerr Smith is doing the "I know I played a gay character, but I'm totally not gay, see?" thing in being all suave as he suggests that Victoria fake sick so they can go someplace else and cut out the small talk. "Santa!" says Victoria, acting mildly shocked. "'Tis the season," he says.