Kate's phone beeps. It's Serena, out shopping for toys for the baby. She's just phoned to tell Kate how hard it is to shop for a baby. I'm sure she'll muddle through, though. She outlines all the purchases she's made, like a Bugaboo stroller with a parasol, just like Brooke Shields's for her "miracle baby," and she's high on the waiting list for Good Mommy & Me class, whatever that is. Kate's rolling her eyes so forcefully, I can't believe Serena can't hear it over the phone. Or maybe she's too busy making a clerk take back a stuffed giraffe for having an "imperfect ear," like, heaven help the poor kid that Serena raises. Kate practically screams at the top of her lungs as she asks if Serena's bought a car seat yet, and Serena's forgotten, but it's at the top of her to-do list. Speaking of which, she wants Kate to come shopping with her tomorrow so they can find a cute outfit to bring the baby home in. Kate says she can't, but Serena says she can. "You're my lawyer, and I'll be paying your full hourly for your assistance, okay?" Kate doesn't even really answer. She just drops the phone, laughing.

Back at Bad Santa and Sexy Elf's Land of Inappropriate Holiday Rutting, Victoria's being all subversive to the department store that gave her work and directing some couple to another store where they'll get better value for their money. Then her cell phone rings and she answers it "hell on earth" like SHUT UP VICTORIA JUST QUIT ALREADY IF YOU HATE IT SO MUCH and it's Kate, who says she's on her way to Michael's place, and Victoria says that's "kinky" because it's still light outside, whatever that means, and Kate 's going to stop by the store tomorrow to do some shopping, and checks to see if Victoria gets an employee discount. "Do you think I took this job for the humiliation and the pee-pee smell?" says Victoria, and I don't know why I expected any more professionalism from her at her second job than she displays at her regular job.

But Victoria has to go now, because Santa is calling "hey, sexy elf" across the North Pole to her, which I'm sure the parents there all appreciate, and he asks if the replacement Santa is on deck, and sure enough there's jolly old St. Nick Two poking his head from behind the curtain, so Santa gets up and makes some kid cry when he says Santa will be right back. Victoria says, "Way to go, Santa," and Santa's all "whatever" and says the kid was naughty, and then we're subjected to annoying every-holiday-season-on-television so-called "witty" repartee that features two ninnies throwing out innuendo playing on "naughty" and "nice," and Victoria asks "what's under the beard" and Santa says, "Wouldn't you like to know," and walks away, and Victoria's all intrigued.