Miss Match
Santa, Baby

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I saw Victoria doinking Santa Claus

I guess that convinced her, as the next scene is the two of them ripping off each other's clothes (and the image of Victoria ripping off her shirt to reveal the black pushup bra is NBC's Christmas present to me) and ducking under the covers. And Santa wraps things in about TEN SECONDS, I swear to God, but Victoria doesn't even seem to mind. Commercials.

That commercial for sinus medicine with the guy who just has a big nose for a head freaks me RIGHT THE FUCK OUT EVERY TIME, I MEAN IT. STOP SHOWING THAT SHIT.

Back at the law firm, Kate's work is interrupted some more by Serena, who, having procured her baby, totters in and starts complaining about how the past twenty-four hours have been the most trying of her life since sorority rush. But she's decided what to name the baby, which came to her in a revelation: Kaitlyn, which Kate of course thinks is awfully sweet. Then she asks where Gerta is, and we're none too surprised to find out that Gerta hightailed it on out of there because Serena is so "demanding," but Serena herself can hardly believe it, and she complains that Gerta didn't even give her any time to find a replacement, unlike the untold legions of assistants who have quit on Serena. Now Serena's cell phone starts to ring, and she looks around for it until she gives Kate the baby to hold, and the cell phone was naturally underneath the baby in the carrier. Kate coos at Kaitlyn while Serena says this into the cell phone: "I'm still dropping her off [Kate's face is all, whuh?]. Well, tell him to wait. I'll be right there." She gets off the phone and says she has a huge favour to ask. Kate, not being an idiot, has already deduced this means that she's being drafted as a babysitter, and says no, but Serena starts yammering about an important meeting with a producer over a heretofore unsellable script and actually goes running out of the office, Kate holding the baby, Serena yelling that Kate will get her regular hourly. "It just went up," says Kate, more to herself than to Serena.

Santa's Land Of Quick-Draw Fornication. Victoria seems not to be able to stand to see any other females near Santa, even if it's a little girl loudly listing all the things she wants for Christmas, so Victoria hustles the little girl off and refers to Santa leaving early that morning, and he mutters that he had to go to the gym. And he obviously does not want to talk to her. And Victoria, who's rather uncharacteristically making plans for the two of them, seems rather put out when Santa brushes her off and hoists another child onto his knee.

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Miss Match

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