So it's while they're doing the running-with-mannequins thing that Kate decides to chat up the cute girl, who says that work keeps her so busy that the early morning boot camp is the only time she has to herself (which most people who aren't named Kate Fox might take as a cue to zip it). So no social life? No social life. How funny, says Kate, that she was just having this same conversation with her totally great architect friend! "You should meet him!" squeals Kate. Cute Chick says she has no time, not even after Victoria vouches for Michael's total 100-percent amazingness, but after another woman expresses interest in meeting Michael, Cute Chick says she might have a free night coming up.
Kate arrives at work, looking stiff all over, as she's talking up Cute Chick to Michael over the phone. Cute Chick does some kind of banking, and she "seems very intelligent." Oh, sweet. She's totally sentient! After Michael agrees to meet the banker, Kate moans and groans her way into the office, where Claire is absolutely open-mouthed stunned at the pain Kate's in. Kate explains that she "failed boot camp," and Claire tells Kate she needs a doctor. Huh? She's sore after a morning of intense physical exercise. A doctor? Oh, she doesn't mean a real doctor anyway. She means a chiropractor. And don't any chiropractor fans bitch at me, either. They are not the same thing. When someone needs a doctor, that means someone with a medical degree. A doctor of chiropractic is not the same thing. If you're having trouble with a term paper, does anyone ever say, "Oh, you need a doctor. I know a great university professor, he'll take care of it for you"? Anyway, Claire insists on making this appointment, because the guy has "magic fingers." Yep, magic fingers versus medical school. Tough call!
I suppose you can be a divorce lawyer and still try to retain your principles. But I think that, as a divorce lawyer, you're going to be dealing with clients who have displayed less than saintly qualities. Which is why Kate's so insufferable in this next scene, in which the firm's client is being sued for divorce by his wife because he slept with another woman -- the nanny. "So you had sex with the nanny -- the caretaker of your children?" says Kate, as judgmental as the Church Lady. "You gotta see this nanny," says the client by way of defense (and more to Jerrold than to Kate). Similarly, when the man claims the nanny was all over him, Kate's less than professional by sarcastically calling that a "compelling defense." Kate? You're a divorce lawyer. Get over it, or do something else for a living. Anyway, the pre-nup he and his wife signed is invalidated, thanks to its adultery clause, says Kate: "Meaning, your wife gets half of everything." The client insists he didn't mean to cheat, and Kate glares at her dad after Jerrold makes some sympathetic comments. Further, Jerrold points out that the adultery clause works both ways, so they're "back in business" if they can establish that his wife cheated as well. Good luck, says the client; my wife barely leaves the house, so unless she "[went] to town on one of her mah-jongg girlfriends," they're out of luck. Okay, so this guy's a pig. Kate still needs to suck it up. And I know we're supposed to think she's a romantic and everything, but I think I side with her dad here, who tells her after the meeting not to judge the clients, because she'll "sleep better." Besides, Bob Donovan is the "Mini-Mart king of the valley," don't you know. Hell, Jerrold Fox even gives the client the benefit of the doubt, saying that maybe the nanny really was all over him. "Yeah, I could hardly keep my hands off him myself," says Kate, and maybe someone can explain to me why she's the protagonist of the show again? And when Serena shows up at the office to talk to Kate, Kate lies and says her schedule's full. Bad enough that she has to lie, but there really isn't any reason to draw her officemates into her deception. Did she have to nod knowingly at Claire? Claire just screws her over and says she doesn't have anything down for her. So who does Kate turn to? Nick, saying she's supposed to help Nick with some document review. Nick, of course, says he doesn't need any help. Kate makes it exceedingly obvious that she's lying as she repeats her offer to help -- "Don't be such a martyr, Nick!" -- that there's no way Serena couldn't have known she was getting the brush-off. But Nick leaves her high and dry, leaving Kate no choice but to -- gasp -- talk to Serena.