Miss Match
Something Nervy

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You can be the president; I'd rather be the Pope

In Kate's office, Serena calls Kate "Katie" again, so Kate corrects her. It's just Kate now, Serena. "Love it!" burbles Serena. She explains that she just got off a "two-year hell-ride with a complete narcissist," which Serena qualifies as summing up pretty much every man she's falling into bed with whenever. That "two-year hell-ride" bit sounds like it might be a reference to Angel or something, but, again, I wouldn't know. She calls working in Hollywood "relationship suicide." Maybe Serena's finally starting to clue in that Kate's not all that comfortable -- perhaps it's because Kate hasn't stopped making faces and rolling her eyes since Serena walked in the door -- so she apologizes for the bratty teenager she was in high school. She says she's got her priorities straight and that she's just looking for a "real guy" -- she just doesn't know how to find him. Kate thinks it over. Hopeless romantic? Nah. "It's a thousand dollars," says Kate. Filthy lucre. Serena's ready to write her a cheque.

Later, at the Only Bar (I know someone suggested the L'on(e)ly Bar, but I'm not writing that whole thing out every time, with the apostrophe and the parentheses. Screw that), Alicia is whining about Serena showing up at her door, since Serena never had any trouble getting anything she wanted. "Remember my spring dance story?" she asks Victoria, who doesn't really, since her eyes tend to glaze over whenever Kate gets all high school nostalgic. It's great that, now that we've been warned that Kate's high school reveries cause eye-glazing, we get her reminiscing about high school. Specifically, the tenth grade spring dance, to which she'd been invited a month in advance by the divine David Hillman. Since it was a "snowball," that meant they all kept changing dance partners, or some such (I have no idea what she's talking about, neither do I think it really matters much one way or the other -- and neither does Victoria, who never "snowballed" in Tucson). And when the song ended, she couldn't find David, who, it turned out, was behind the gym, making out with Serena Lockner. Turns out Victoria does remember this story, since she remembers that Kate walked home and never spoke to him again. Good thing it's not still bothering Kate, who wants to set Serena up with somebody horrible. Then she wonders if that's the right thing to do, considering that she seems nicer now, and people do change. Maybe she should be wondering if that's the right thing to do considering SHE TOOK A THOUSAND DOLLARS FROM THE POOR WOMAN. She decides to help her out, figuring that maybe helping Serena find the man of her dreams could be strangely satisfying. Victoria calls that mature, but masochistic. So's a prostate exam. Hi-yo!

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Miss Match

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