Instead, Kate does call Laurel, who sounds lukewarm towards Michael (although more on the side of "warm" than "luke"). Kate actually berates her for calling Michael "not bad," for heaven's sake. "I'm not wasting this guy on you if that's all the excitement you can muster," says Kate, who then orders Laurel to break the date down into positives and negatives. Pros? "He's definitely the kind of guy I picture myself with," says Laurel, adding that Michael has a "nice way" about him. And then we get Michael on the phone saying that Laurel is cool and smart. All right, then, says Kate and her magical phone that carries on two separate phone conversations at the same time, how about the negatives? Michael says he couldn't tell if the chemistry was there (hey, maybe it ran out of gas!). Laurel whines about his horrible taste in music. "Well, would you go on a second date?" asks Kate, and they both say yes, making a confused Kate hang up the phone.
Paternity test time, with Maury Povich not involved. The very businesslike nurse asks for driver's licences, and the baby's birth certificate, with Aaron losing some sweetness points by wondering if Marla switched babies with a neighbour, and Marla remaining true to form by calling him stupid. The nurse assures Aaron that she'll be taking the baby's footprint as well. "Good," he says.
After the meeting, Aaron strolls up to Marla and calls the baby cute and asks to hold him. Requisite slight thawing of the iciness between the two of them, at least until Marla starts bitching about Aaron dragging her down for this, and wondering why he wants to ruin the good thing she's got going. "We had a good thing too, remember?" he asks, and let's hope that her ability to remember isn't dependent on his ability to register an identifiable emotion. He wonders if she wants to go to teeth conventions for the rest of her life. She unsurprisingly doesn't respond well to this line of attack, and asks him what kind of father he thinks he'd make, since he's out all night with his "idiot headbanger friends" and can't hold a job or even clean up after himself. Aaron responds by -- well, no, he actually doesn't respond. His blank stare is some kind of force of nature. Since the insults have been flowing freely, I guess now is a good time to insert some poignant guitar plucking, as Marla says she's just trying to make a good life for her baby, and she scurries away, leaving Aaron to stare…forlornly? angrily? sadly? constipatedly? after her. Kate gives him a supportive arm rub. There, there, Aaron's arm. There, there. Soon you will be doling out thunderous drum fills as Aaron's band storms through an overly reverent cover of "D'yer Maker" at some local dive. Kate tells him they'll have the results in a few days. He nods. That means he understands!